say it loud...

MY FIANCE DRIVES ME CRAZY!!

Things done changed. I'm not just getting married, I'm changing my blog site address and profile. Why? I'm scared sh!tless of blogging about problems and issues I face with our relationship. Normally, I try not to with this blog. But normally I have other things on my mind. Not anymore. Now its all about colors, catering, and cakes. Oh Lord.

So now that I think she won't be able to read this anymore. I can gripe (big grin on my face now). I will still try to speak on other issues. I don't want to make it seem like I'm a relationship blogger. There's other sites for that: verysmartbrothas.com.

So get ready for me to be back on the scene.

I made it back

Maybach that is. No for real. I went to the gym this morning. I've decided that its not as important to loose my beer belly but to be in shape. If I loose my belly along the way then great. But if I can run a marathon or bench press three times my weight, even better. Wish me luck.

Sent from my HTC smartphone on the Now Network from Sprint!

Okayplayer.com Boards - Viewing topic #10428179 - Young Diggy Simmons droppin heat on yall.

http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=10428179&mesg_id=10428179&page=

Pandora's box is hard to close again.

Emotions are complicated. I have no idea how and why women choose to deal with them. I can focus more in life if I choose not to face every disappointment, anger, and stress. But every once in awhile, emotions break out of that my mysterious box that I swear I had pad locked and cemented over from the last time.

Now the work to put the emotions back seems long and harder than before because there are now more emotions to find space for. And I know some of you may say, don't put it all back. But after a couple of days of trying that, it just seems easier to move back into the swing of if I just shut up and move on. And I know what the same imaginary audience is saying again, you only tried for a couple of days. But I can't think when your emotions make you want to do everything else but focus on what I need to do. So screw it.

I'm a just focus on paying these bills, getting rid of debt, and taking the next steps to becoming a man. Liking cutting off my sideburns.

Sent from my HTC smartphone on the Now Network from Sprint!

NOLA bay-bee!

I just came back from one of the greatest trips since 5 years ago. I partyed too hard and had too much fun. New Orleans was a great trip. I'm done with Bourbon Street. That place chewed me out and almost didn't spit me back out. I won't go into much detail because I am just relieved to be back home. This was my first vacation that I didn't just go home to Boston. I can't wait to do it again. Hopefully I will have some time to relax in the next one because I dunno if I am built for this game.

Nawlins is a great place to party but definitely not a place to visit. I don't know what the city looked like before Katrina but it ain't looking any better. The images I remember from that disaster are long gone and the only thing that reminded me of water rising to the roof tops was the Super Dome. That thing was big. The Super Dome saved this city but at the same time more devastating things happened in there. It is amazing to think about what people went through and how they got over it. When Katrina flooded the city my greatest confusion were the people that stayed. Were they just stupid, had no where to go, or just didn't care. But that is not the feeling left with. It was home. That is what you fight for.

NOLA bay-bee! See you when I see you.

Sent from my HTC smartphone on the Now Network from Sprint!

movies and smoothies: Hard Candy

alright this one was creepy. The plot is about this girl who has stalked an internet pedophile. She meets up with this guy at a local cafe where she acts coy and teases him until they get back to his place for drinks. I feelings at first are the questions that I assume everyone asks, "Why do teenage girls get themselves into this mess?" For me it doesn't make sense: she's fourteen, he's in his thirties and he happens to be interested in the same things you are? Isn't that a clear sign that something must be wrong with this so called adult?

Then I remember what being a teenager is like, especially one that doesn't always fit the in crowd. You believe that you are impenetrable, nothing bad will ever happen to you. And for teenage girls I imagine that they have learned that boys are interested in them and they can use that to their advantage (correct me if I'm wrong). Then the terrible thing happens when playing next to the microwave that's cooking metal, it explodes.

But a twist happens in this story. Instead of the girl getting drugged and molested, the pedophile gets drugged and tied up. Now the fun begins. The girl uncovers all of the dirty secrets of the guy, even murder of some previous unsuspecting teenager. When she finds the evidence, instead of just calling the cops and getting this sick man arrested (turns to audience to say, "hold this is the good part", bootleg movie moment) she cuts his balls off.

Dammmmnnnnnnn!!!!!

What makes her any better now? Now the hero has become the villain and the villain is the victim. What a mind blowing experience. I won't go into the rest because after that the truth gets reveal. You women need to stop doing that stuff. I feel conflicted about what happened because he was a pedophile so he deserved it but then again she cut the penis and the balls then sewed him up and asked if he wanted them ask keepsakes. If I had a choice between dying and getting my balls removed for non-medical reasons, pass me the rope and point me to the tree.  Even if I had testicular cancer, I would consider dying before I let them take my jewels.

RATING: strawberries and banana margarita to help ease the pain

legacy

one of my goals in life is to leave a legacy. It doesn't have to make me famous, heck nobody has to know I did it but one person and maybe my kids. I just want to leave something in this world that I created and can be discovered later.

My inspiration for this is my good friend Babadudu (that's his hip hop name, means father of blackness, or something like that). He created a selection of music called Cool Beans, basically an LP, back in college with DJ SwissIvory (from the Ivory Coast). I was there when he recorded some of the songs and I was also there for his first show (actually I was the hypeman). One thing I will always remember is that Babadudu didn't create this music to be the next great rapper. Unless some producer like Diddy (and I hope he would never go that route) came up to him with a done deal, he would never push for a career in hip hop. He just loved hip hop and music.

I still bump the Cool Beans LP to this day. Every time I hear the music and think back to being on stage just being a hypeman, I feel proud of Babadudu for just doing it. No fame, no glory, he just did it. And now for the rest of his life he has a legacy. I might be one of the few people that still listen to his music but I will continue to listen because it will remind me of the good times in college.

I want that.

And I can have that if I can just finish one thing and feel good. I know my ultimate dream is to have a family. My kids will one day be my legacy and that's cool but I want to create something else in this world that hasn't been done before: maybe just one song, maybe a company, maybe I do become famous. All I know is I have to finish one thing. The problem is I have too many ideas to stay focused on one thing. Woe is me, right? Many of my ideas are great and I dive right in feeling like its the next big thing. Then I hit a slump. I get bored, complacent, worried about bills, afraid of failing. It all runs in a cycle. My greatest accomplishment will be to break this cycle, just once. Just to say, "here is my legacy."

it's. about. to. go. down.

I haven't said much in awhile. Too much is going on and not enough time to say it, but since I'm not doing anything at work...

Valentines Day was fun. Surprisely fun. I did my best to plan a month in advance for a hotel room and dinner reservations. My girl and I had a great time at dinner, got tipsey, then made our way to the sweetharts package at the hotel: rose petals on the bed, champagne, and bubbles (you know the ones from your childhood that you blew out of a stick).

Sigh... then we prayed and held hands in separate beds.

*pause.

Yeah right. I'm not going into details after that but it was a great time.

Life at work is slowing down. This is bad. I've lost the initial high of doing things right and completing goals. Now everything is routine. There is a difference this time though. I actually like my job so I'm working on setting new goals and trying not to cuss out my coworkers. But three or four days of nothingness makes me a dull boy.

I'm on weightwatchers.com dropping pounds. Losing weight is difficult but weightwatchers does a good job of letting me eat whatever i want, moderately. The only thing i miss is drinking excessively and eating pizza. I guess i don't need to do both anymore. I've dropped 5 lbs. Please i need all of your applause.

I also haven't done movies and smoothies in a long time but my love for the theatre goes strong. I hope y'all weren't enjoying them and have not been heavily disappointed. Or maybe I do.

I'm a do better y'all.

Sent from my HTC smartphone on the Now Network from Sprint!

just say the word

I just had a thought the other day that the internet isn't censored. I know, I know. Can't get nothing past me. The reason this light came on is that television is greatly censored. Television has been around for 70 years. Probably one of the fastest growing industries of its kind. Then came the internet which far surpasses the growth of any communication or media platforms ever created. You would think that when the internet came along the big wigs would have prepared to censor the internet before it even became a mainstream source of media.

I talked to my lawyer (my girl) about this and what she says makes sense. The internet gives you the freedom to click on the content you watch to view while television channels are programmed leaving you no choice on what is being presented to you. The sole action of clicking on a mouse pad protects the internet from censorship. Why hasn't television been uncensored than or vice versa why hasn't the internet been censored? When watching television doesn't the viewer have the ability to choose what channel to watch just as much as the web surfer? What is interesting is that now I can watch television on the internet. So should television networks be able to use profane words when it is being viewed on the internet?

This all brings me to another thought: why are we so worried about our kids saying bad words when as adults we continue to cuss with great eagerness? What's really funny is that at some point in one's life its okay to use profane words.

Life is weird, ain't it?

It's rough being on that thang boy.

It's been a while since I could email my thoughts to this blog since I suspended my smart phone. Glad to be back.

First order of business, black women need to relax. Stop trying so hard and realize you are the most beautiful creatures on earth. Just because you don't have a man now don't mean you the only one. Come to reality about what a good man is (meaning you're not gonna be happy with everything he does but as long as he makes you happy you should give him a shot).

Next on the agenda, black men, man up! Get a job. Any job! Take these women out to dinner, not the club. If you are gonna dance, two step. Leave all that girating to the skinny light skin singers. Act your age in public. Have fun at home. Lastly make sure the women are satisfied in the bedroom (do what you gotta do).

Next up, evangelists need to keep it to themselves. If you are so obessed with the afterlife I can help you get there quicker (that was gangsta rap attitude). Let people believe what they want to believe (guess what they think you are wrong too). God created evolution. There I solved that problem since both arguments are so crazy it must be true.

Lastly, I am Haitian. I know the country has been struggling all my life. So the American press need to stop treating us like the homeless man you feel like helping every couple of years just to feel better about yourselves. I don't know how to fix our problems but if you're going to help, help. Don't just toss a few coins our way and walk away.

That's all for now.
-future house husband

Sent from my Palm Pre on the Now Network from Sprint

put her on

recently my girl asked me to introduce her to hip hop. You know the non radio play, club banging, might hear at a poetry night hip hop. She is a straight up R&B head with her favorites like Monica, Anthony Hamilton, and Chrisette Michelle. She's from Oklahoma so she is used to a lot of southern hip hop.

So I took on the task and made her a mixtape. Being 27, I consider myself to be from the G-Funk era of hip-hop: Fuggees, ATCQ, The Roots, Black Star, etc. My plan was to let her hear some familiar smooth tunes that she can bump in the ride. I chose songs from artists that affected me very early on in my rap listening career.

Let me know where I might be going wrong and what I missed? Or if anybody else already made a flawless mixtape, put me on please.

Here's my playlist

Title: I Luv Hip Hop
1. Act Won... Things Fall Apart THE ROOTS
2. The Next Movement THE ROOTS
3. The Light COMMON
4. Ready Or Not THE FUGGEES
5. Umi Says MOS DEF
6. You Got Me THE ROOTS
7. Pay Day SLUM VILLAGE
8. Whatever You Say LITTLE BROTHER
9. Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik OUTKAST
10.Definition BLACKSTAR
11.Staying Alive WYCLEF JEAN
12.Mr. Nigga MOS DEF
13.Art of Storytellin' Pt. 1 OUTKAST
14.Royalty GANGSTARR
15.Check The Rhime ATCQ

lets reoccur

a reoccurring dream has been haunting me for the past year. I can't pin point the first time I had this dream but I know it was a long time ago. What scares me the most about this dream is that it is not just the same action that is happening over and over. The dream picks up from the last time I had the dream.

Here's what's happening: I'm in one of my high school classrooms (shout out to BHS, go boxers!). The teacher is one of my favorites from the four years I spent in high school, my architecture teacher; but this time she wasn't so nice. The first dream was about the first day of school. I was late to school and I had to go to the main office to get my schedule and my locker combo. The hallways are exactly as I remember them. I get my schedule and head for my first class with no time to get to my locker.

Next dream: I make it to my classes and I'm going over my schedule for the week as I head to my locker. My high school is separated into four main buildings of different colors. I'm walking the hallways of the red building, trying to get to green. I'm walking up and down stairs, going through the cafeteria, running around like its a maze. I make it to my locker and its the end of the day.

Next dream: Its the end of the first week and I'm looking at my schedule. I realize that I missed a class on Tuesday. The class meets twice a week and I didn't go to the first one. I begin to worry about what the teacher will say, if I've missed too much already.

I don't recall having any more dreams like the these for a while but that is not the scariest part of my dreams.

Next dream: I'm in class with my favorite teacher who isn't my favorite at the moment because its an English class. I realize this is the class that I missed on Tuesday, so the teacher starts talking about things that I don't recognize. One of the subjects is of this semester long project that she will assign but not monitor. Basically, we have to do a lot of research on our own and present the project at end of the semester. Every couple of weeks she will have us present where we are at with the project. In this class she had us choose the topic we are going to research.

Next dream: It's time to present an update on the project. I have nothing done. I watch everybody else present journals and diagrams that show their work. I have nothing and I'm trying to think of an excuse. I can't say I left it at home because that would mean I had to bring something the next class and that would mean I would have to pull an all-nighter. I didn't want to do that so I just told her I have nothing.

Several more dreams: I still have nothing to present every time I go to class. When it becomes time to present an update I try to hide from the teacher and hope she doesn't notice that I haven't presented. The dreams never make it to the end of the class so I don't know if she hasn't figured me out yet. What's scary is that when I wake up from the dream, I get the feeling that I forgot to do something and that day is the due date. I think this project is real. I have to keep reminding myself that it's just a dream, but the feeling comes back throughout the day.

This morning's dream: It's the last day of class. Our projects are due. I'm sitting in class looking around at students who have boxes full of notes, journals, diagrams for each month of the project. The teacher wants us all to package our project for her to grade it. The grade for our project is worth 80% of our semester grade. My desk is empty. I have nothing. I start thinking of hiding again and hoping the the teacher won't notice. Then I'll pull an all-nighter to get this project done and put it in her office tomorrow. My only problem with this idea is that it's the last day of school. I start just thinking that maybe I should just fail. It's senior year; I won't have to worry about school after today. Who cares right? Somehow I make it out of class and I'm walking down the stairs in a straight line. I want to go to my locker and get anything I left in there the first day of school but since I haven't been back to my locker since the first day of school, I have no idea where it is.

Long story short, I think I failed the class.

things I miss about being young

we all grow up. But am I just silly for believing that I wouldn't. I truly believed I was a Toy R Us kid even though I only got toys from Walmart and Family Dollar (if you never bought the bag of army men from the dollar store, then you are probably spoiled). To this day I still feel like that 7 year old boy whose biggest concern was eating pizza on Saturday morning and getting a turn on the Nintendo. The only difference these days are these mounting bills that seem to have been placed on me without my consent. I grew up.

Here are a few not so obvious things I miss about being young:

1. Watching a scary movie and actually being scared. I miss just believing. Believing any and everything that was shown to me. Oh, Freddy Crugar can kill me in my sleep? Pass the coffee. If I put on a red cape I can fly? Where's my bed sheet?

2. The last day of school. To be honest, the last week. No matter what grade I was in, that last week was the "f*ck if I care if I'm supposed to be learning something; I ain't going to be here in a couple of days, b!tch." And it always felt like I would never go back to class. As if some magic would occur over the summer and I never had to attend school again.

3. Being outside all day long; rain, sleet, or snow. I am so ashamed of my co-dependence with air conditioning. I remember enjoying the mid day summer shower as a way to cool off from the fun filled day. Then do it all over again until the lights go out.

4. Picking up any object and using it as a toy. My imagination has never been as strong like when I was a child. I remember when I was in Haiti a slanted column in the front porch was a helicopter. I could play in my helicopter for hours.

5. The weekend, mainly Saturday. I woke up early with no alarm clock, no plans; just one goal: have fun today. I'd run around with one of my parents doing errands, ride bikes, go on adventures, play countless tournaments with video games. I had nothing to do but to do nothing.

What do you miss about being a kid?

— the Chef

its a Cole World.

http://www.jcolemusic.com/

who dat! who dat! Its J. Cole. Now I know I need a late pass and I look like I'm jumping on a band wagon now that J. Cole was crowned Who Got Next but I'm being honest I've been digging this cat for a while. I'm just glad to see a new artist that actually has talent. And I would be remorse if I didn't give a shout out to any artist who personifies the true meaning of hip hop. So if you haven't heard of him yet (shame on you), check out the mixtapes: The Come Up and The Warm Up.

"Now who else wanna f_ck with Hollywood Cole."
*I know, I know. Its Hollywood Court, but I though it was a good use of mispronunciation in the urban community.

movies and smoothies: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

so refreshing when the preview to a comedy is not the funniest joke of the movie. Why this movie was over looked as a great, laugh my ass off classic; I have no idea. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard is a close comparison to the latest classic comedies like The Hangover and Superbad. Jeremy Piven does what he does best as salesman. This guy can act like a guy who can sell a guy that only acts like a guy (I'm just as confused as you). The film has you dying laughing from the beginning and keeps you laughing until the most famous scene from the preview when the old war veteran beats up on the Korean who he thinks is a Veit Khong. The whole scene does not disappoint.

The supporting cast does a good job of carrying the story when lead character reaches his moment of existentialism. Ving Rhames search for making love and snappy one liners were well placed and believable. Kathyrn Hahn playing the sexy sells woman who uses intimidation along with sex to make sells is a good twist on an old stereotype.

If you haven't seen the The Goods, its on Netflix instant. I hope this becomes a cult classic. So many good scenes in this movie.

RATING: a good punch in the nuts cranberry daiquiri, with sprinkles

movies and smoothies: Boondock Saints II

the cult classic The Boondock Saints release a much anticipated sequel The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. Excuse me. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Let me retract my statement. The cult classic The Boondock Saints was an original, light hearted, shoot 'em up, bang bang, thriller that had me salivating for movies with great characters and unforeseen plots. The Boondock Saints II was a disgrace to the aforementioned. To be fair I will try not to compare the two movies henceforth but will more or less verify ramifications of horrendous story telling.

First of all, what the hell was the point of the movie. One minute these brothers are chilling in Scotland, next moment a priest died so they have to go back. The intro to the story was not needed because the viewers never had a connection with Scotland country, nor do they want to see bearded chaps playing 1000 B.C. (that's the bootleg version of 10,000 B.C.).

And what about the Mexican? Why was there a Mexican? Did the writers research the fan base and discovered a lot of Mexicans liked the first movie because of its catholic themes, so they said, "Hey they'll pay to see the sequel this time if there is a Mexican. Make them feel at home." Adding a Mexican character to this movie made it seem as if the original writers were fired, tied up, burned on a stake and some fresh from spring break in Cozmel college student were their replacements. Lack of authenticity.

They could have spent more money on casting a hotter female special agent. The whole lead up to who was the vixen in high heels, stripper tights, skinny skirt was a big let down. And it hurts me to say that because I like Julie Benz in Dexter. She's cute but in that motherly way. Her character was also a cop out from originality. "Hmm... Let's have the same FBI character," they said. "Hmm... Let's make her have a southern accent, " they said, "Then she'll be a bit different." Well I say you can't put a bow on a piece of turd. Its still sh!t.

They could have come up with a completely different story. There should have been new characters. There should have been better lines. Hell, if they even presented better gun fights this movie might have been worth watching. Instead, I threw up a little in my mouth.

RATING: raspberry blood of saints with some piss water.

saving the planet one bag at a time

i finally bought the grocery sacks at wallie world so that I can stop storing up empty plastic bags under my sink. I reuse them as trash bags because my trash can is that small. So now I just have to remember to bring the sacks in the store when I go shopping. I wonder if I go to a different store with the sacks, will I be shot on site.

Now I know what some of you are thinking, "now I'm going to go around preaching the word of saving fossil fuels and the benefits of driving electric." Not at all my friends. For I believe in the idea that as long as I am doing my part then the world is already a better place. You can do whatever you want, but I was once a Planeteer (I even had a ring). So you see my friends, I'm just fulfilling my childhood dreams. Yes the power is mine and I intend to use it for good and not evil.

sleepless in soonerville

being up for no reason definitely sucks. As if I don't have enough stress in my life now I can't do the one thing that cures my anxiety. Even worse is not being alone. Now jealously is playing into the many thoughts of how many hours am I missing in REM. I've got this burning in my stomach which tells me the things I am worrying about are valid concerns.

What am I to do?

It shouldn't be this hard.

transition

i went to church a couple of weeks ago. My mother would be so proud, but she is not because I don't go every week. This is my girlfriend's family church. The current pastor had been reassigned so it was his last sermon (a bit of a blessing for most people in attendance). He titled his last sermon: transition. At first I was ready to sit in church for another hour or so, playing my favorite childhood games of guess what that person is thinking or count how many tiles are on the ceiling or funny faces with kids; but then I started to relate with what the sermon was about.

The pastor was saying that during a time of transition everybody goes through a grieving period. People are grieving for the loss of something in their lives. Even though the change may be good, the sense of comfort is gone. Change brings different people that you're not used to and with that you lose what you were accustom to (good and bad).

I've held on to that idea because I'm going through many transitions right now. I'm starting a new position in sales coming from customer service. Now I will have to work based on commission and not salary. So I am now responsible for how much I make. That is scary because my attitude towards a job has always been based on the idea of, "they don't pay me enough for that," and now I have to face the fact that I pay myself.

I'm also going back to school. Sounds fun? Well then you pay for it. Its looking like I'll have no federal money. I will have to work full time and go to school in order to pay the massive loans I'm about to take out on top of the ones I owe for going to school the first time. All this to follow a dream I once had. I hope my dreams builds into a reality.

I'm renting my condo back in Georgia while I live in OKC. I just kicked my last tenant out and handed the keys over to property managers I've never met. I'm crossing my fingers and praying that this all goes smoothly.

So with all this change happening at once, I keep getting this pit in my stomach. Some say its gas. I say its a nervous reaction. This isn't the first time I've been nervous about something. I always know in the end that it is for my good in life and that I can step up to any challenge. But it is all still playing a jamboree on my nerves. I guess it just means I am grieving for my lost of comfort. But, what doesn't feel comfortable probably is a good thing (the other lesson I get from this moment).

Shout out to P. Best and Greater Cleaves Baptist Church.

movies and smoothies: Ninja Assassin

i was ready for it. I was ready for the slice 'em and dice 'em event of the time. The kung fu experience that was going to be intriguing and eye catching. It was the movie I have been trying to convince my girl to watch before it came out in the theaters. I pressed play as sliced the remote through the air and prepared to fulfill my fantasies as a super ninja.

*sigh*

First of all, I hate all kung fu flicks who have Asians speaking English. If I am to be immersed in my fantasy I want to speak a foreign language. I know that means subtitles and Americans are too lazy to read now a days, but c'mon! Keep it real. Then the cliches and inconsistencies started happening. The ninja falls in love. A ninja knows no love. A ninja is a warrior. His only love should be for the love of blood on his blade. And why is the ninja assassin fighting 50 other ninjas from the same tribe? Ninjas don't need other ninjas (only when there are multiple assassinations needed in one place).

This movie killed me to sleep. If they followed the rules, I could have been interested. Instead I got a nonsense plot, with nonsense ninja abilities, and a nonsense ending. They should have spent more time with actual assassinations then showing the training and poor character development.

RATING: redrum fruit punch and squeezed lime with a gingsu.