very simple

you set a goal and want nothing else. your ultimate goal maybe greater and much more significant but achievement of the primary goal is of the utmost importance.

I got 4. I'm feeling good.

ahhhh. *puts feet up*

i had a healthy day of nothing. No plans, no work, no stress. Just got up this morning, worked the shits out (drinking last night), watched dave chappelle season one, cooked, cleaned, cut my hair, and played video games. Yup. Today was a good day.

I say this because I joined a gym last week and have yet to step back into the bitch. My alarm clock is set, my schedule is made, but my heart is not in it. I don't know what got me motivated last time because right now, on my off days (which are few) I don't want to do nothing except zone out: enjoy what I like, take it easy, and don't worry about the usual stress of the day.

a knock knock and a ding dong

lately I've been getting strange people knocking at my door at strange hours: eight in the morning, nine at night; I don't know these people! So I stopped answering the door. I'm not expecting anybody, I don't know anybody, the people I talk to in Georgia have no idea where I live. I have roommates so at first I answered the door because it might be for them. Maybe a pizza man, maybe a female friend, maybe a package that I need to sign for; no more. If I'm not expecting something or someone I'm not getting up for random people. I don't care if they can hear my tv playing or see me through my window. I ain't getting up.

Unfortunately there is side effects. I feel like I'm trapping myself from the outside world. Like I'm purposely being unsocial. But what are the odds that some beautiful woman will open the door and offer free sex? Slim to none right? So its not me being unsocial, I just don't want to be bothered.

So stop ringing my doorbell, knocking on my door, trying to get me out of my couch. If you need me call me. Otherwise, I ain't your friendly neighborhood black man. Leave me alone.

pump... you up!/Obama Wins!

i joined a gym today. I feel like its just fat tax. Will I go for the three months I signed up for? Who knows. The only good thing is that I talked with a trainer (who tried to sell me protein shakes) and took a physical assessment. So I know where I am (out of shape) and I know where to go.

The amazing thing is that I have to eat five times a day and that my previous two times is dangerous. Five times?! That sounds like work. Eating has become my mood relaxer: one big meal then sleep like it'll be my last. Now I have a schedule of when I should snack and have a meal, what I should eat, how much; this is too much.

Once again the goal is to lose 20lbs of gut and thigh. I also need to lower sodium intake. The trainer showed me a chart that said I'm in a red level of heart attack risk. Well that's not good.

:::::OBAMA WINS:::::

Alright so history was made last night. I almost cried but I stiffened up quick. During the Barack's speech all I could do is squeeze and squeal because all I could think of is, "Please don't shoot him. Please. Not in front of the kids, his wife, and Oprah." I'm sorry. People have been telling me to stop saying that, stop joking about it but sadly history never changes people. They killed Lincoln, Kennedy, King, Malcom, Jesus. Anyone trying to do some good in this world has a early death sentence. So as excited as I am that times are changing in USA, I'm scared for Obama's life and his family. I don't think anybody should disagree with me.

But let's do this though. I'm talking to black people. Tighten up. Work hard. Make sure this period in your life is the best it can be. Because we have to make an overdue statement. The Civil Rights was the last time we made the world listen, now their ears are open. Lets tell them what we want and its not too far from what they want so it won't be hard for them to understand. In other words:

Black people don't f_ck this up!!

blissful ignant shit

i don't want to learn nothing new
i don't want to hear nothing new
i don't want to see nothing new

I just want that ol' time good stuff
That backyard, climbing trees stuff
That passing notes in the hallway stuff

i've learned what I could
and all I got was this lousy moment of life
for'git it. I just want some blissful ignant shit.

::::::::::

Just at this moment I'm feeling like maybe I just need to do something new: kickboxing, yoga, read a book, learn a instrument, etc. But then I think of all the frustration I'll have to go through to do stuff like that. First the money, then the time, then the focus; haven't I learned enough? I'm just looking for a distraction from work while I figure out how to get out of the bloody thing. But learning something new would just add more frustration. Why can't what I already know be enough?