Annihilation

I'm not scared to admit it. I suck at Madden Football. I can't score because of interceptions and I can't tackle. But something in me won't quit. See I can't play for fun. Everything is a competition. Every game is a test of my manhood. If I don't win what will I tell my kids in the future?
I know I should just reduce the difficulty level and work my way up but I'm too stubborn to submit. What I've learned from the mistake on the virtual field is that I don't make good split second decisions. This is good to know because I try to stay away from impulse decisions in real life.
See me in an action adventure and i'll terrorize you.
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The bigger the better?

So my place of employment is filled with overweight people. I'm not using the term overweight in its recent definition for american society as a whole but in the meaning of 300+ lbs, need two seats to sit, and have a hard time deciding how to fit through tight spaces. This scares me.

I'm not scare that if we ever get trapped in the building these people would begin to look at me as a side on their dinner plate. I'm scared because I wonder if it is the job that is making them this fat or is this job more likely to hire them with these conditions. Either way I'm screwed. Seeing this many obese people might make me find it comfortable and accepting to have a second helping of twinkies.

I know I'm being pretty rude. Given the choice I know these people would choose an easier life but because of emotions and low metabolisms they suffer. But I just can't shake the feeling that I now must study them. I think I'm supposed to learn something from them.

I'll try to let you know what I discover.
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America the great

I'm riding on the freeway this morning. I'm on my way to work. I pull up behind a Ford Chevelot that has three Mexicans in the bed of the truck. I decide to ride behind them for a mile or two as I watch two of them sleep and one of them sitting high above the truck just looking around.

All I can think of is that, "we all have to go to work. " then I start to wonder how life must be different for them here : more job opportunities, not having to learn english to get by, not enough clubs catered to them. But we all got to work to survive. They don't like waking up so early for their job just as much as me. So why are people so angry at them being here?
I decide to end tailgating the Mexican trolley and roll past the drivers side. I expected to see same hick town, redneck driving whom I would judge immediately for hating on illegals when he has a bunch of them in the back.

But no.

Its a bigger Mexican. And on the side of the truck, in red, white, and blue the logo reads: American Services.

I almost crashed from laughing so hard. Oh the irony.
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Trust me it aint easy

Trust is a terrible thing to lose. Especially when you in love or you've loved a person for so long that you don't expect to lose it (like family). Unfortunately I've lost trust in a lot of people in these last years. Some folks just aren't proving to be the person you thought they were or they said they word.

And its okay if you change your mind about a belief or behavior but if I depended on you in the beginning to do something and you change that then I can't trust you to do that thing anymore.
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its all good

so I guess I need to speak on what I've actually been doing this month. I haven't said nothing about my new tenant, my road trip to OKC, my birthday, my girlfriend, my new job, and the changing dynamic with my parents (that's a whole lot. I'm pretty sure I won't get to all of it).

New Guy
Thankfully, I found a new tenant for my GA home before I left. He seemed like a cool dude and would fit into the dynamic of the house. He met everyone else and he just seemed to fit. I don't know how else to put it. I was surprise to get anyone to take my room. At first I just felt, well this whole move might just work.

Day of the move
The plan was: stay up all night the night before, get to the uhaul early in the morning, pack, sleep in the afternoon, leave by midnight. What happened was: its raining cats, dogs, tigers, bears, monkeys (not a good way to pack all your furniture); try to wait out the rain while sleeping in my car at the uhaul for a couple of hours but the rain wouldn't let up; packed in the rain; slept for three hours; couldn't go back to sleep; prayed my heart out before I left; hit the road at midnight.

Road Trip!
I thought I could handle it. I did ten hours before to Miami. It couldn't be bad, right? I lost my youth. What was supposed to be a thirteen hour became a fifteen hour trip. No man should drink the amount of Red Bull as I did. I ended up stopping to pee more than getting gas. My car went through so many bumps that the car alarm sounded with ever bump. Now I swear it goes off randomly. I've never been on one road for so long (six hours). I thought I would die. But I made it. I unpacked (barely). And we here.

My Boo.
She black, people, okay?! I know she from Oklahoma and its the Midwest and its the red state of all red states, but I got me a strong black, beautiful woman. That's all you need to know.

Jay Oh Bee (c) Friday
I arrived in OK Saturday, interviewed on Monday through Thursday, drug tested Friday, got a job on Wednesday. Start on Monday. That wasn't hard right? Right. And I'm offered more money than my last job (this just might work).

My Birthday
I had fun. It was sad at first because I was thinking, damn I'm old. But then after spending time with my lady I noticed I'm young at heart (I'm probably the only one keeping us young). By the end of the day, I was pretty happy.

I am your Father!
What does that mean when I'm twenty-six? I'm starting to make decision on my own but I never forget to ask my parents about their opinion. Now they are starting to pretend as if they have no say in what I do. As if I don't need their help. Then after I'm ready to move forward with my choices, they decide to tell me they disapprove. Too late buddy. You had your chance. I just don't understand this transition phase. How long will it last? Will they assume I'm trying to be disrespectful when I don't agree with their ideas? What's the best retirement home in their location (oh I'm just joking. Do you believe me)? All I know is that they are changing. And they sure as hell didn't warn me about it.

So that is. what is. goingz on. I'm in search of a lot of answers now about religion, God, life, Life After Death (how come Biggie knew "your nobody till somebody kill you). We'll see what goes on from here. Until then, peace and hair grease.

everyone has a story

why don't we all write books? Its funny because I used to think I was boring and interesting. Sure I can tell a joke and have a laugh but I didn't pretend to have these amazing stories to tell. I do.

Lately all I do is tell stories. "Like this one time..." or "That reminds me of this story." and "One time, at band camp..." (no that's not true). I find myself talking like this my girlfriend everyday. This makes me wonder: I should be a writer. Maybe its a missed passion of mine. I hope that I do finish my novel ideas and get at least one published. I wouldn't mine slave a nine to five if I get to publish one book. Then I get to say, "I am a novelist," and not a call-center-customer-service-specialist.

I can't lie though, I want it for the passion, fame, and fortune. That's right. I don't want to starve for this form of art. I want to get paid. Someone should hear what I have to say and they should pay me for it. Then they should go see it at the movies and pay me beaucoup bucks for it. Cha-Ching.

Hey people. Try to write something this month. You might just be the next great American Novelist.