just say the word

I just had a thought the other day that the internet isn't censored. I know, I know. Can't get nothing past me. The reason this light came on is that television is greatly censored. Television has been around for 70 years. Probably one of the fastest growing industries of its kind. Then came the internet which far surpasses the growth of any communication or media platforms ever created. You would think that when the internet came along the big wigs would have prepared to censor the internet before it even became a mainstream source of media.

I talked to my lawyer (my girl) about this and what she says makes sense. The internet gives you the freedom to click on the content you watch to view while television channels are programmed leaving you no choice on what is being presented to you. The sole action of clicking on a mouse pad protects the internet from censorship. Why hasn't television been uncensored than or vice versa why hasn't the internet been censored? When watching television doesn't the viewer have the ability to choose what channel to watch just as much as the web surfer? What is interesting is that now I can watch television on the internet. So should television networks be able to use profane words when it is being viewed on the internet?

This all brings me to another thought: why are we so worried about our kids saying bad words when as adults we continue to cuss with great eagerness? What's really funny is that at some point in one's life its okay to use profane words.

Life is weird, ain't it?

It's rough being on that thang boy.

It's been a while since I could email my thoughts to this blog since I suspended my smart phone. Glad to be back.

First order of business, black women need to relax. Stop trying so hard and realize you are the most beautiful creatures on earth. Just because you don't have a man now don't mean you the only one. Come to reality about what a good man is (meaning you're not gonna be happy with everything he does but as long as he makes you happy you should give him a shot).

Next on the agenda, black men, man up! Get a job. Any job! Take these women out to dinner, not the club. If you are gonna dance, two step. Leave all that girating to the skinny light skin singers. Act your age in public. Have fun at home. Lastly make sure the women are satisfied in the bedroom (do what you gotta do).

Next up, evangelists need to keep it to themselves. If you are so obessed with the afterlife I can help you get there quicker (that was gangsta rap attitude). Let people believe what they want to believe (guess what they think you are wrong too). God created evolution. There I solved that problem since both arguments are so crazy it must be true.

Lastly, I am Haitian. I know the country has been struggling all my life. So the American press need to stop treating us like the homeless man you feel like helping every couple of years just to feel better about yourselves. I don't know how to fix our problems but if you're going to help, help. Don't just toss a few coins our way and walk away.

That's all for now.
-future house husband

Sent from my Palm Pre on the Now Network from Sprint

put her on

recently my girl asked me to introduce her to hip hop. You know the non radio play, club banging, might hear at a poetry night hip hop. She is a straight up R&B head with her favorites like Monica, Anthony Hamilton, and Chrisette Michelle. She's from Oklahoma so she is used to a lot of southern hip hop.

So I took on the task and made her a mixtape. Being 27, I consider myself to be from the G-Funk era of hip-hop: Fuggees, ATCQ, The Roots, Black Star, etc. My plan was to let her hear some familiar smooth tunes that she can bump in the ride. I chose songs from artists that affected me very early on in my rap listening career.

Let me know where I might be going wrong and what I missed? Or if anybody else already made a flawless mixtape, put me on please.

Here's my playlist

Title: I Luv Hip Hop
1. Act Won... Things Fall Apart THE ROOTS
2. The Next Movement THE ROOTS
3. The Light COMMON
4. Ready Or Not THE FUGGEES
5. Umi Says MOS DEF
6. You Got Me THE ROOTS
7. Pay Day SLUM VILLAGE
8. Whatever You Say LITTLE BROTHER
9. Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik OUTKAST
10.Definition BLACKSTAR
11.Staying Alive WYCLEF JEAN
12.Mr. Nigga MOS DEF
13.Art of Storytellin' Pt. 1 OUTKAST
14.Royalty GANGSTARR
15.Check The Rhime ATCQ

lets reoccur

a reoccurring dream has been haunting me for the past year. I can't pin point the first time I had this dream but I know it was a long time ago. What scares me the most about this dream is that it is not just the same action that is happening over and over. The dream picks up from the last time I had the dream.

Here's what's happening: I'm in one of my high school classrooms (shout out to BHS, go boxers!). The teacher is one of my favorites from the four years I spent in high school, my architecture teacher; but this time she wasn't so nice. The first dream was about the first day of school. I was late to school and I had to go to the main office to get my schedule and my locker combo. The hallways are exactly as I remember them. I get my schedule and head for my first class with no time to get to my locker.

Next dream: I make it to my classes and I'm going over my schedule for the week as I head to my locker. My high school is separated into four main buildings of different colors. I'm walking the hallways of the red building, trying to get to green. I'm walking up and down stairs, going through the cafeteria, running around like its a maze. I make it to my locker and its the end of the day.

Next dream: Its the end of the first week and I'm looking at my schedule. I realize that I missed a class on Tuesday. The class meets twice a week and I didn't go to the first one. I begin to worry about what the teacher will say, if I've missed too much already.

I don't recall having any more dreams like the these for a while but that is not the scariest part of my dreams.

Next dream: I'm in class with my favorite teacher who isn't my favorite at the moment because its an English class. I realize this is the class that I missed on Tuesday, so the teacher starts talking about things that I don't recognize. One of the subjects is of this semester long project that she will assign but not monitor. Basically, we have to do a lot of research on our own and present the project at end of the semester. Every couple of weeks she will have us present where we are at with the project. In this class she had us choose the topic we are going to research.

Next dream: It's time to present an update on the project. I have nothing done. I watch everybody else present journals and diagrams that show their work. I have nothing and I'm trying to think of an excuse. I can't say I left it at home because that would mean I had to bring something the next class and that would mean I would have to pull an all-nighter. I didn't want to do that so I just told her I have nothing.

Several more dreams: I still have nothing to present every time I go to class. When it becomes time to present an update I try to hide from the teacher and hope she doesn't notice that I haven't presented. The dreams never make it to the end of the class so I don't know if she hasn't figured me out yet. What's scary is that when I wake up from the dream, I get the feeling that I forgot to do something and that day is the due date. I think this project is real. I have to keep reminding myself that it's just a dream, but the feeling comes back throughout the day.

This morning's dream: It's the last day of class. Our projects are due. I'm sitting in class looking around at students who have boxes full of notes, journals, diagrams for each month of the project. The teacher wants us all to package our project for her to grade it. The grade for our project is worth 80% of our semester grade. My desk is empty. I have nothing. I start thinking of hiding again and hoping the the teacher won't notice. Then I'll pull an all-nighter to get this project done and put it in her office tomorrow. My only problem with this idea is that it's the last day of school. I start just thinking that maybe I should just fail. It's senior year; I won't have to worry about school after today. Who cares right? Somehow I make it out of class and I'm walking down the stairs in a straight line. I want to go to my locker and get anything I left in there the first day of school but since I haven't been back to my locker since the first day of school, I have no idea where it is.

Long story short, I think I failed the class.

things I miss about being young

we all grow up. But am I just silly for believing that I wouldn't. I truly believed I was a Toy R Us kid even though I only got toys from Walmart and Family Dollar (if you never bought the bag of army men from the dollar store, then you are probably spoiled). To this day I still feel like that 7 year old boy whose biggest concern was eating pizza on Saturday morning and getting a turn on the Nintendo. The only difference these days are these mounting bills that seem to have been placed on me without my consent. I grew up.

Here are a few not so obvious things I miss about being young:

1. Watching a scary movie and actually being scared. I miss just believing. Believing any and everything that was shown to me. Oh, Freddy Crugar can kill me in my sleep? Pass the coffee. If I put on a red cape I can fly? Where's my bed sheet?

2. The last day of school. To be honest, the last week. No matter what grade I was in, that last week was the "f*ck if I care if I'm supposed to be learning something; I ain't going to be here in a couple of days, b!tch." And it always felt like I would never go back to class. As if some magic would occur over the summer and I never had to attend school again.

3. Being outside all day long; rain, sleet, or snow. I am so ashamed of my co-dependence with air conditioning. I remember enjoying the mid day summer shower as a way to cool off from the fun filled day. Then do it all over again until the lights go out.

4. Picking up any object and using it as a toy. My imagination has never been as strong like when I was a child. I remember when I was in Haiti a slanted column in the front porch was a helicopter. I could play in my helicopter for hours.

5. The weekend, mainly Saturday. I woke up early with no alarm clock, no plans; just one goal: have fun today. I'd run around with one of my parents doing errands, ride bikes, go on adventures, play countless tournaments with video games. I had nothing to do but to do nothing.

What do you miss about being a kid?

— the Chef

its a Cole World.

http://www.jcolemusic.com/

who dat! who dat! Its J. Cole. Now I know I need a late pass and I look like I'm jumping on a band wagon now that J. Cole was crowned Who Got Next but I'm being honest I've been digging this cat for a while. I'm just glad to see a new artist that actually has talent. And I would be remorse if I didn't give a shout out to any artist who personifies the true meaning of hip hop. So if you haven't heard of him yet (shame on you), check out the mixtapes: The Come Up and The Warm Up.

"Now who else wanna f_ck with Hollywood Cole."
*I know, I know. Its Hollywood Court, but I though it was a good use of mispronunciation in the urban community.

movies and smoothies: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

so refreshing when the preview to a comedy is not the funniest joke of the movie. Why this movie was over looked as a great, laugh my ass off classic; I have no idea. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard is a close comparison to the latest classic comedies like The Hangover and Superbad. Jeremy Piven does what he does best as salesman. This guy can act like a guy who can sell a guy that only acts like a guy (I'm just as confused as you). The film has you dying laughing from the beginning and keeps you laughing until the most famous scene from the preview when the old war veteran beats up on the Korean who he thinks is a Veit Khong. The whole scene does not disappoint.

The supporting cast does a good job of carrying the story when lead character reaches his moment of existentialism. Ving Rhames search for making love and snappy one liners were well placed and believable. Kathyrn Hahn playing the sexy sells woman who uses intimidation along with sex to make sells is a good twist on an old stereotype.

If you haven't seen the The Goods, its on Netflix instant. I hope this becomes a cult classic. So many good scenes in this movie.

RATING: a good punch in the nuts cranberry daiquiri, with sprinkles

movies and smoothies: Boondock Saints II

the cult classic The Boondock Saints release a much anticipated sequel The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. Excuse me. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Let me retract my statement. The cult classic The Boondock Saints was an original, light hearted, shoot 'em up, bang bang, thriller that had me salivating for movies with great characters and unforeseen plots. The Boondock Saints II was a disgrace to the aforementioned. To be fair I will try not to compare the two movies henceforth but will more or less verify ramifications of horrendous story telling.

First of all, what the hell was the point of the movie. One minute these brothers are chilling in Scotland, next moment a priest died so they have to go back. The intro to the story was not needed because the viewers never had a connection with Scotland country, nor do they want to see bearded chaps playing 1000 B.C. (that's the bootleg version of 10,000 B.C.).

And what about the Mexican? Why was there a Mexican? Did the writers research the fan base and discovered a lot of Mexicans liked the first movie because of its catholic themes, so they said, "Hey they'll pay to see the sequel this time if there is a Mexican. Make them feel at home." Adding a Mexican character to this movie made it seem as if the original writers were fired, tied up, burned on a stake and some fresh from spring break in Cozmel college student were their replacements. Lack of authenticity.

They could have spent more money on casting a hotter female special agent. The whole lead up to who was the vixen in high heels, stripper tights, skinny skirt was a big let down. And it hurts me to say that because I like Julie Benz in Dexter. She's cute but in that motherly way. Her character was also a cop out from originality. "Hmm... Let's have the same FBI character," they said. "Hmm... Let's make her have a southern accent, " they said, "Then she'll be a bit different." Well I say you can't put a bow on a piece of turd. Its still sh!t.

They could have come up with a completely different story. There should have been new characters. There should have been better lines. Hell, if they even presented better gun fights this movie might have been worth watching. Instead, I threw up a little in my mouth.

RATING: raspberry blood of saints with some piss water.

saving the planet one bag at a time

i finally bought the grocery sacks at wallie world so that I can stop storing up empty plastic bags under my sink. I reuse them as trash bags because my trash can is that small. So now I just have to remember to bring the sacks in the store when I go shopping. I wonder if I go to a different store with the sacks, will I be shot on site.

Now I know what some of you are thinking, "now I'm going to go around preaching the word of saving fossil fuels and the benefits of driving electric." Not at all my friends. For I believe in the idea that as long as I am doing my part then the world is already a better place. You can do whatever you want, but I was once a Planeteer (I even had a ring). So you see my friends, I'm just fulfilling my childhood dreams. Yes the power is mine and I intend to use it for good and not evil.

sleepless in soonerville

being up for no reason definitely sucks. As if I don't have enough stress in my life now I can't do the one thing that cures my anxiety. Even worse is not being alone. Now jealously is playing into the many thoughts of how many hours am I missing in REM. I've got this burning in my stomach which tells me the things I am worrying about are valid concerns.

What am I to do?

It shouldn't be this hard.

transition

i went to church a couple of weeks ago. My mother would be so proud, but she is not because I don't go every week. This is my girlfriend's family church. The current pastor had been reassigned so it was his last sermon (a bit of a blessing for most people in attendance). He titled his last sermon: transition. At first I was ready to sit in church for another hour or so, playing my favorite childhood games of guess what that person is thinking or count how many tiles are on the ceiling or funny faces with kids; but then I started to relate with what the sermon was about.

The pastor was saying that during a time of transition everybody goes through a grieving period. People are grieving for the loss of something in their lives. Even though the change may be good, the sense of comfort is gone. Change brings different people that you're not used to and with that you lose what you were accustom to (good and bad).

I've held on to that idea because I'm going through many transitions right now. I'm starting a new position in sales coming from customer service. Now I will have to work based on commission and not salary. So I am now responsible for how much I make. That is scary because my attitude towards a job has always been based on the idea of, "they don't pay me enough for that," and now I have to face the fact that I pay myself.

I'm also going back to school. Sounds fun? Well then you pay for it. Its looking like I'll have no federal money. I will have to work full time and go to school in order to pay the massive loans I'm about to take out on top of the ones I owe for going to school the first time. All this to follow a dream I once had. I hope my dreams builds into a reality.

I'm renting my condo back in Georgia while I live in OKC. I just kicked my last tenant out and handed the keys over to property managers I've never met. I'm crossing my fingers and praying that this all goes smoothly.

So with all this change happening at once, I keep getting this pit in my stomach. Some say its gas. I say its a nervous reaction. This isn't the first time I've been nervous about something. I always know in the end that it is for my good in life and that I can step up to any challenge. But it is all still playing a jamboree on my nerves. I guess it just means I am grieving for my lost of comfort. But, what doesn't feel comfortable probably is a good thing (the other lesson I get from this moment).

Shout out to P. Best and Greater Cleaves Baptist Church.

movies and smoothies: Ninja Assassin

i was ready for it. I was ready for the slice 'em and dice 'em event of the time. The kung fu experience that was going to be intriguing and eye catching. It was the movie I have been trying to convince my girl to watch before it came out in the theaters. I pressed play as sliced the remote through the air and prepared to fulfill my fantasies as a super ninja.

*sigh*

First of all, I hate all kung fu flicks who have Asians speaking English. If I am to be immersed in my fantasy I want to speak a foreign language. I know that means subtitles and Americans are too lazy to read now a days, but c'mon! Keep it real. Then the cliches and inconsistencies started happening. The ninja falls in love. A ninja knows no love. A ninja is a warrior. His only love should be for the love of blood on his blade. And why is the ninja assassin fighting 50 other ninjas from the same tribe? Ninjas don't need other ninjas (only when there are multiple assassinations needed in one place).

This movie killed me to sleep. If they followed the rules, I could have been interested. Instead I got a nonsense plot, with nonsense ninja abilities, and a nonsense ending. They should have spent more time with actual assassinations then showing the training and poor character development.

RATING: redrum fruit punch and squeezed lime with a gingsu.

Kevin Hart has sealed the deal.

Seriously Funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81eZ6TFcQtg

I think with his last stand up Seriously Funny, Kevin Hart has taken his career to a new level. He has now made it to the hall of fame of stand up comedy. I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time. His jokes can make everybody laugh which is why he is going to start seeing more of that white people money (I hope Kevin got his trip back to Africa planned out).

Its great to see a comedian do so well in his craft. Its tough to see him not not do so well in movies and shows though. His last movie Something Like A Business, wasn't that good. I don't know what he was trying to do or where the movie was going. I guess its still hard out there for a pimp. When I saw that movie I thought oh well he had a few could stand ups. At least he was in my most favorite scene in 40 year Virgin and I'm pretty sure BET will continue to play Soul Plane (why, I don't know). But then I saw Seriously Funny and now I'm a Kevin Hart fan again. Good job Kev. Don't go down without a fight, brotha!

*oh, and for yall who thought I had the inside scoop on some major movie deal for Kevin, bless your heart.

Shout out to Ye.

Kanye West Live at Facebook HQ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exNOyZ220jg

Chain Heavy (Acapella)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CBpVW5Mm-k


Mama's Boyfriend (Acapulco)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Umjy314sQQ

Orignal post on OKAYPLAYER.

movies and smoothies: Favorite movie moments

ITS A LADDDDDY (c) Ladies' Man
In every movie there is always a moment when they introduce the lady of the movie. She seems to saunter into a room with theme music or is introduce to the male character and everything just stops. She is the most beautiful girl in the room. The girl who is going to change everything in the protagonist's story. When this moment happens I always say the famous line from Leon Phelps in The Ladies Man, "Its a laddddy."

MESSAGE!
The movies with a moral message always crack me up. Its usually blatantly obvious. Like the film makers are court ordered to present message to the kids in order to make the movie. I can't help but scream, "MESSAGE!" like in the Wayne's Bros. movie, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka.

THAT TINGLING FEELING
I'm a sucker for loving and inspiring moments. Every time a movie gets me excited I get this tingling feeling. This usually happens during football movies when the team is all huddled up, doing there chant, getting ready to do damage on the field. Its heart felt. Emotions are strong. You can sense the high level of testosterone. And I feel a little gay for saying this.

THE AFTER EFFECT
After I see a good film; after I've been indulged in an emotional, intensifying experience; I walk out of the theatres (or get up from the couch) feeling like I'm still emerged in the plot. Its almost as if my life will be the sequel. If there were crazy car scenes, then I drive home as if I'm still being chased. If there were intricate fight scenes, I'm kicking the leaf off the branch in the parking lot like kung fu master. This doesn't work with love stories though or does it? I don't know. Ask my girl.

just something to say

i am the sheep of the anarchist that has strayed from the herd. Viva la revolution!

movies and smoothies: Surrogates

*sigh. Bruce Willis is getting old. And that hurts because he is really going to die hard. Well his career is anyways. Alright, same ol', same ol': the future is replaced by androids and humans have found another way to be lazy and fat while decreasing crime with big brother eyes. Wait a minute! Is this iRobot mixed with Minority Report and a splash of Grumpy Old Men (that's an old guy joke. Its all I had. I know. I'm ashamed too)? So Bruce Willis is so old they have to graphically enhance his face in order for people to withstand from purging at the sight of his decryption (dude is old, that's all I gotta say).

I guess my opinion of this movie is that it is pretty redundant. Nothing I hate more than an unoriginal plot line that tries to throw a great twist in the end. Because all I can imagine is that when the producers were pitching this idea they said, "Think, iRobot mix with Minority Report." And when everybody turned the idea down they thought, "That's okay we'll get Bruce Willis to star in it because he ain't doing nothing with his life. You seen Live Free or Die Hard right?" You can miss this one people, because I'm pretty sure you've seen it already.

RATING: an aged banana daiquiri because you'll need the alcohol to get through it

movies and smoothies: Breaking Bad

hold up! Stop the record! If you haven't witnessed the development of a very original, very insane, very funny at the life of desperate chemist, then you haven't seen Breaking Bad. I love this show because from the very first scene, I was hooked. I'll never forget the first episode: this old man in his underwear, holding a gun, in the middle of the street, in the desert, and police sirens approaching quickly. My first impression: what the hell?! I was intrigued and I still am with Season 3.

The beauty of this series is the destruction. You have a very smart chemist who never reached his potential in his career and is now a high school teacher. His son is handicapp. His wife, pregnant. The bills are mounting, his relationship with his family is crumbling, he is working at a carwash to make ends meet. On top of all that, the cream on this delapitated, dense cake is that he has cancer. Devastating right? So what does a man who has been trying to play with the cards has been delt and is down to his last chips? Hook up with a meth head and take over the drug market with the purist form of product ever seen in the desert. Duh?!

I feel funny rooting for the drug dealer in this show. My moral compass spins around uncontrollably when trying to decide if a desperate man decides to do wrong to protect his family, is he still a hero? Thank goodness I don't have to make that kind of decision. But with this show, I at least know how to handle myself in room full of drug dealing, murderous thugs.

RATING: The Heisenberg Special: blueberry crystal blast smoothie

movies and smoothies: Cloverfield

I have to tell you why this is one of my favorite movies of all time. I know when it came out there was a lot of people that got sick and hurled in the movie theaters because of the shaky camera use. This I think made people dislike this movie but it made it more real and entertaining. The reason I love this movie is because it's a story about love. Don't let the mysterious, destructive, gigantor fool you. Cloverfield is a love story.

*spoiler alert: if you haven't seen this movie yet, for shame. It is three years old. In the 21st century that is like 21 years old. You don't have to wait that long to either rent or bootleg. I don't condone renting. 'flix it*

Several times I've compared my love for my girlfriend with the adventure that took place for the main character of the movie. Would I drag my best friend across town during the destruction of a major city, walk through the damp and dark subways, climb the nearby tower buildings and jump into the apartment of my trapped girlfriend (who at the time, I was arguing with)? I love you sweetheart if you are reading this but... I'm just playing. What was the question?

The best surprise is in the dvd commentary. You know if I'm watching the commentary it was a good movie. There is a alternate ending that is even creepier and the explanation of your gigantic mysterious friend is precious. Almost cute.

RATING: a mango punch smoothie that will bite your head off

to all my viewers

feel free to leave comments now. I have opened the restrictions to any and everybody. Don't worry if you have nothing important to say. If you've read any of my post you will realize I don't either.

movies and smoothies: The Mist

Stephen King's T H E  M I S T. I love small towns. They are the best place to unleash hell and everybody will act accordingly to the predicted rules of the bible (which I'm pretty sure started out as scary stories to get kids to do well but somehow have become bedtime stories).

What is in the mist? Will I be damp in the mist? Will my girlfriend have to worry about her hair in the mist? All your questions will be answered when you watch this film.

It's really a film about the human behavior (which I so want to study. Sorry for the valley girl moment). The explanation of mankind is perfectly set inside a grocery store where everyone is safe during this apocalypse. There is plenty of food, medicine, and even air conditioning. But there is one problem: people. And what happens to people: they become mobs. And what is a mob? Well my friends, that is just mankind's defense mechanism to troubling times.

The Mist does not disappoint. I won't spoil what is in the mist, because I want you to enjoy that surprise. And the ending? Oh my, the ending. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

RATING: a peach and banana smoothie with misty frost.

movies and smoothies: the edukators

welcome to my movie critic segment. You all don't know this but I am a lover of the theatre (well not the real movie theater because that just costs an arm and a leg). I love netflix. I don't watch television anymore since they switched to digital and I missed out on the converter box, so all I do is watch movies from netflix on my xbox 360. And now that I've got this new blender, I'm making smoothies while I watch movies to beat these hot summer days. So movies and smoothies it is! I'll try not to spoil the whole plot for you.

Yesterday I gazed at the German film, The Edukators (now streaming on Netflix). Its a story about love, betrayal, and the capitalists pigs who do nothing but take advantage of those who are weak and how these pigs must be stopped. How you may ask? Isn't it obvious: break into there million dollar homes and rearrange their furniture of course. What? You didn't read the manual on the modern little revolutionist?

This film is a sleeper and I don't mean many have missed out on the great originality of the story. I fell asleep before the end. The plot of this story did not need to be dragged out of 298 minutes. I guess there aren't any deleted scenes in the dvd extras because they decided to extend every message and moral of the story. After I awoke from my slumber and my second finished smoothie, I realized I had no interest in seeing the end of this hippie film and turned it off. So folks you can miss this one.

RATING: a strawberry banana smoothie spiked with nyquil. Nighty night.

earth shattering

You're 25 and it hits you: you're not a little boy no more. Naw, you gots responsibilities and bills. People are looking to you and they don't want to be disappointed. Up until now the road was easy. Now there is an unbeaten path through what seems to be a dangerous jungle. You look around and there is no guide. Your compass is spinning wildly in every direction. You take your first step and something bites you in the leg. You take the next step and you trip on a pebble. I know what you're thinking: don't take that next step!
Look up young one. And keep looking up. Don't worry about the ground. Your steps are ordered.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

jumping for joy

I'm not an excitable person. Meaning when something good happens to me I don't start jumping around all excited and happy. Actually, let me clarify: it takes a lot for me to be excited with joy. The little accomplishments in life don't change much for me. I still have to pay bills. I still have to watch what I eat. I still have to do the speed limit at the end of every month.

I only show great joy when there is great achievement; life changing achievement. Like when I won a computer from the NAACP ACT-SO program or when I got job or when the Celtics won the ship. You see I can brag about those things. Everything else is just part of the job or part of life. They are accomplishments sure, but if I award myself every time I did the job I was supposed to do then I would have nothing to look forward to.

So just accept the smile people. Because that is all that it is worth.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Free Your Mind Part2

watching green grass grow

peaking over the splinters
Staring at the growth glisten in the rays.
They stand tall together
Making their unity seem everlasting.
The jealousy pains my toes.
I balance with one leg on top of the garbage lid
Its strength gives out and I fall back down to earth.
the ground feels beaten into a hard concrete
As I lean against the fence I look out to my lawn.
I sit at the end of the dirt path
I can't help but walk over and look every morning
Its such a good grass
Their dew rests gently on top of the blades
My dew seems to make muddy puddles
What's happening over this barrier that isn't happening here?
I grab my tools and crawl to the hole in the dirt
I reach into my pocket and pull out a handful of seeds
If winter comes too early this will all be in vane
Still, I've seen the possibilities
Next spring, I want to sit on my porch and watch the eyes look over the splinters
I'll cover these seeds with my bare hands
Let the sweat drip off my chin and be the first to water the earth
I pray these grounds will grow to luscious green grass.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

stress reliever

cleavage is a beautiful thing. I know I'm not suppose to talk about it. Its in appropriate and perverse to mention to a woman that her physical attribute is the only thing I want to share an emotional attachment to but I can't help it. In this struggling world the smallest joy in life is being able to see some cleavage from time to time. Its a stress reliever. It reminds you that its all worth it. That one day (if not tonight)I will have an opportunity to get up close an personal with a great pair.

And that my friends is the GREATEST joy in life.

You do the math.
5318008
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stunned and confused

when a boxer gets stunned on Fight Night Round 4 his stance becomes weak. His hands drop to his waist and he struggles to stay on his feet. Eventually his opponent will try to knock him out with one blow.

I can relate.

Not because I've ever been in fight before but because, my life hasn't turned out to be exactly how I planned. So I'm left stunned. I've realized that many people go through this feeling of weak knees and the inability to know what is coming next.

I had this epiphany when watching a talk show about off line dating. Isn't that just regular dating? How did we get to the point where we need to talk about dating that doesn't require a monthly subscription? My answer is that we are all stumbling to get back to a place where we are in control and satisfied with our progress.

I think being stunned leaves us to do desperate things. Instead of trying to regroup and block the upcoming blows, we swing aimlessly and eventually meet the canvas. Please people, don't assume you have to try everything to get you out of your situation. Just step back, realize what you did wrong, focus on the goal, and try again. If that doesn't work, hug it out.
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a terrible week for the chef

monday, survived my first tornado scare. These folks in okc think this is normal life. I don't know anywhere else where I have to stop what I'm doing and duck for cover in a ditch.

Tuesday, I broke my back helping a friend move that took all day (from 8 to 6 PM). I've discovered a new rule with that: you get 4 hrs free. $10 per hour afterward and I'm bringing my car as an escape plan. My back still hurts.

Wednesday, you know black people always late. That's why when you get invited to a dinner party, go ahead and eat in advance. Because you might end up starving to death waiting for a meal that was planned for 8PM be served at 11PM.

Today. I'm broke. What more can I say?(c) Jay-Z. I'm looking at selling some furniture at this point. no joke. I'm wiping my old computer hard drive as you read so I can sell it. I just need to cover the bills for the end of the month. But then what about next month? I heard of a website where you can do volunteer work and get your loans paid back: its sponsorchange.org
Hopefully after my back heals I can make a change.

ON DA GOOD FOOT! My girl is gaduating OU Law this Saturday. I'm so proud of her. Congrats sweet baby!

Anywho. Back to work. Signing out. Flossymae.

WHAT MORE CAN I SAAAAYYYY!
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do white people have jobs?

i swear every movie I see it seems like Caucasian Americans (from here on out they will be referred to as white people; its the most PC I got), have nothing else to do but get in suspenseful trouble or take road trips across America or sit in coffee shops talking bullspit. I seriously want to know if white people go to work. I mean I see white people at work everyday but I just think they are the unfortunate ones. How come there aren't any movies about the unfortunate ones?

If I watch a black movie (I'm sorry African-American), no forget that, BLACK movies are about going to work or selling drugs. White folk movies just seem to be about sitting around in a world where there are no bills, no high gas prices, no credit card limit. And I'm not just talking about mainstream, big studio movies (but they are included). I'm watching a lot of independent movies and documentaries that just seem to portray white people with no job. What the hell?!






Maybe its just their days off?

Top down

Do people get dressed in a certain direction? certain people seem to have a great fascination for sneakers and shoes but then they wear plain white tees or shirts that look like they got for just attending a gathering. While others have every baseball cap to match their shirts but have some plain jeans and sneakers.

I know I dress top down. I'm not that impressed by shoes. When I look at someone I notice there face and upper body before their feet. Sure of you got a nice pair of jordans on you deserve a compliment but no matter what you are walking in you can't beat the look of a nice smile.
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mr. money

the other day at work, a woman introduced herself and when asked if she had a husband or boyfriend she said, "I'm married to my money, so money is my husband."

hmm.

lately I've been on this kick to 180 my life: change my thoughts on my diet, drinking, weight, money, stress; my success in life. And unlike before, I'm willing to take this gradually. I've started exercising and instead of forcing my self to run (i love the accomplishment of running, but I'm never excited to get up and do it) I'm walking for 40 minutes. Instead of getting on quick fix diet, I'm watching my portions and cutting back on calories. I've stopped drinking (let me give you a moment for that,
I'll wait)...

i've also tasted what this success in my life will bring and that is the biggest difference. I want to be married to money too. Hopefully my coworker won't mind a little office affair. I think I'm done with the idea that I can be happy without money. Its sad in a way. It is as if I've lost my youth. I will no longer consider myself broke from now on. Instead I'm running the rat race harder until the wheel falls off.

kick it list

Write a novel
Sky dive
Ballon ride
Hang glide
Rap on stage
Make a song
Sing in a choir
Fall in love
Go cross country
Be in a bicycle gang
Coach a football team
Create a legacy
Design and build a home
Order a royale with cheese
Make a movie
Dunk a playground hoop
Get a natural high
Win a poker tournament

What's yours?
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hanging 10 on the web

i've recently cut off my cable and home telephone service in order to save some money (*correction: in order to have money to pay these bills). Now I am only armed with THE AMAZING INTERNET!

Not only is the internet ironic, its the biggest time waister of the day. Its funny when people say that the internet builds so much community when 98% of time people don't actually meet. And does anyone get any real work done while on the net? Sure I'll pay a bill here or there but then its straight to blogs and forums for news and irrelevant theories about life.

When did the internet become a necessary evil? Can't I go back to answering machines and meeting people at the local pub?

me and my tummy

I have the worst relationship with my belly. You see I've cultivated the perfect watermelon shaped carrier of bloated indulgence. I have a pot belly and I hate it.

my anger is not because of social appearance or acceptance but because it causes me physical pain. when I sit down my belt applies pressure to my stomach. This forces me to burp a lot. How disgusting. I also get uncomfortable pimples in that area that sting like hell.

I'm tired of my belly slowing me down. I need some help getting back to washboard abs and a small appetite. Can some one help?
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moving on

so I guess I don't have time to write anymore. Its a shame. I've had a lot of interesting thoughts and ideas lately but I since I work 14 hours a day, I can't seem to remember what they are. But here is an update of how life has been.

1. I brought the lovely lady home to the folks. It was a big deal. How do I know? Because moms brought out the appetizers, the good china, and dessert. These three things I don't think I've seen brought out in my house more than 3 or 4 times in my life. It was interesting, nerve racking, and shocking all at once. The most important thing that I've learned from the experience is that I don't consider home to be home anymore. I had a strange feeling when I was there and half the time I wished I was back in the Okie Doke. When I made it back to okc everything seemed so familiar. I guess I'm moving on. Meanwhile there are some folks back east that feel that I abandoned them. I have no idea how to deal with that.

2. The trip back home made me think I need therapy. Like most people, the thought that you need therapy is scary because you get put in this special category of crazy. Now I know I'm already a bit crazy, but its in a normal weird way. To be clinically categorized as crazy is one step away from being a hobo on the street. The most messed up part about it is, the people that I feel care about me the most think I need therapy. Great. I might as well start making my sign of cardboard and homelessness. But guess what... fu_k 'em! I over everything that plagues me about my childhood and current relationship with family. I got things to do in order to make it and I will not let them take up my time.

3. Business is booming. I've tripled my clientele since last quarter. Really I went from one to three clients but its progress. And I have an event to market at in the end of April. I'm even more nervous but this time in a good way. This is really pushing me to complete a lot of things and not be so picky about how I design and the decisions I make. I've wasted a lot of time trying to prepare but now its game time. So its ready or not.

4. I'm ready to sell my first home but all I keep hearing is the economy is so bad. Yeah I know the economy is bad but I can't handle this mess that is in Atlanta anymore. Plus life is getting good in OK that I'm ready to move on and cut my ties with the dirty dirty. I know I got a lot of competition with foreclosed homes and HUD house that are selling like hot cakes but I'm hoping there is someone looking to begin the American dream and own a proper home at a decent price. I can't imagine that everyone is only willing to buy broken down homes in Atlanta.

That's all I can think of right now. The rest is mostly the same: bills, work, bills, broke, a girl that makes me smile. There's not much more than that.

Its happening again

I'm playing boss. My manager has decided to let me fill in for my assistant manager whenever he is out. I've gone from sitting in my little cubicle and doing my thing to get through the day to answering everybodys questions and pretending to be social.
She picks me because I'm the best on the team and I expressed that one day I want to be a manager. So that sounds good right? Wrong! I've been down this road before. They let you play boss and as soon as you mess up your bossly duties you're out of there. Plus they don't pay you any more for playing boss so they do their best to keep you in the same spot. Meanwhile all your other coworkers come to you non stop with question you shouldn't be handling.
So what should I do now? I don't want the same mess to happen like last time.
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And why not?

The Bible. A living document. Why not include recent history? Is not Martin Luther The King Jr worthy of a mention in the great book? Is not Ghandi an inspirational story to be share with millions? Are including any of their stories go against the religions that use the bible?

I wonder what is stopping this from happening? I'm sure I'm not to think of it. Is it racial? Is it sacrilegious?

I think one issue may be that this would begin to form an idea of a world bible. And that is just impossible. With all the hatred and arrogance AND ignorance, all the religious factions will never be able to come together and include everyone's take on spirituality. Why can't we all just get along?
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Suckers need to gonna inspire

MOTIVATION. Now you know I don't like to start my blogs with all caps but this is sort of a reminder. I need some motivation. I need to go back to place, th feeling I had when I was in high school creating my model that won third place in the nationals. Yeah that's deep.
Lately I've felt a sense of stagnant inability. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do next. I'm more scared of doing something wrong so I don't do anything at all. Which is stupid.
This is a journey of the mind. And I'm on the breakdown lane. SOS.
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oh my its 2010!

its the new year already. My bad, I've forgotten about letting ya'll know what's going on. So here is the wrap up of 2009: I got fired from my job, I accepted who I am, I fell in love, I traveled, I moved, I got a j.o.b., and I fell deeply in love.

All in all it was a weird year. Very weird. Very new. Taking risks that I wasn't expecting but everything is turning alright (well not everything but when is it ever everything). The best moments in '09 involved substances of the natural matter. The scariest moments involved the same substances. The best vacation was in NC chilling with a life time friend for a week (it gave me the strength to make moves I needed to make). The best party was back home with my friend who finally graduated from college. He ended up in his pool in the backyard and that is when the party shut down. Good times. Biggest regret was taking my brother to court. Greatest accomplishment was starting the ground work for a business idea.

I think this year will be interesting again. I'm still going to make changes in my life. I'm trying not to stress about it. I'm starting to boil down what career I can do. It may not be what I want to do but that is why side hustles are for. I need to sell my condo, buy a new car, move out of my apartment, and purchase the most expensive gift of my life. I feel like that is a lot. I figure I just work on one thing at a time. Take it step by step. Day by day.