home alone

I don't understand my fiance's way of thinking. She's expressed her concerns many times that she spends a lot of time home alone. She has a right too. I work retail hours therefore I have a constantly changing schedule that doesn't allow me to be home at a decent hour. I try my best on my days off or when I get to go home early to spend time with her when she gets home from work. But now I'm sitting at home alone because she has other plans with her friends.

I've addressed her about this topic a little bit and her only answer is, "well you do it to me. Now you know how I feel." Does that really make things better? It's even coming to the point now when I've worked late nights and come home around 10pm, she's not there and it was her day off from work. Makes no sense to me. I know on my day off, I'm preparing a meal, cleaning the house, relaxing and getting myself ready to see my boo. On her days off, she is running around town and barely making it home the same time I do to start to cook dinner.

I know what some of you are thinking, I'm one of those men who wants his woman home all the time cooking and slaving for me. But if you have just read what I wrote, I feel like I'm justified at thinking that I'm getting the raw end of this deal. I understand that she has been at home alone a lot more than me. I even enjoy some time alone and she doesn't. But it doesn't mean that I don't want to be with my woman at night.

One Rhyme to Live

I just want to bust a sixteen
And make you feel like when I was sixteen
Happy busting nuts and thinking of all my dreams
Like how me and my boys would be living in the big city
Driving fancy cars and fucking hoes with big titties
But now we on a different route, real life: its a real bout
We goin' battle motherfuckas in the club, just to find the way out
Its real nigga shit, no metaphors or similies
Its all about the basement, Brockton has our loyalties

Chorus:
I got one rhyme to live, one verse to show you who I is
One beat to show you niggas that I'm a be the shit
I put this song together so you never forget
This life is not a movie and I'm a always live it

Sigh...

I really want to do everything that I enjoy professionally. I want to be a comedian/actor who raps, and draws his own comic book. Its not enough that I just create these things, I want to be famous for all those things. For now I would accept just being famous in my city.

My biggest problem of course is fear. I fear it would be a waist of time. I think my fear is real. The internet has shined so much light on to how many people are actually attempting to gain fame and have no talent at all. It has also put a spotlight on how many people that have talent don't ever get the fame and success because they don't have "it."

I, by no means, have the passion of the talentless and talented people of the internet. I'm stuck in the real world; filled with hope and despair. But I'm going to attempt to be all the things I enjoy, just to cross it off my bucket list. And since I'm getting married soon, this should be the year to do it.

Mean Girls

There are two women at work who I know is the reason that men quit after about three months. These ladies are the epitome of mean: always picking on somebody, always making somebody mad, and always finding a way to irritate me. What I can't understand;  what boggles my mind is when they "have to have a talk with me," they have no idea why they always have a problem with their coworkers. 

I know I should tell them how mean spirited they are. How every time they are asked to do something they have to fight about it. How they don't listen and then wonder why they are always in the office about an issue. How they think they know everything but not willing to teach. But I'm really sad for them.

You see the real issue is that they are unhappy with their lives. They have been in the same position at the company and their own lives for years now. They are still in school in hopes to one day be more than they are now and until they are finished, they come to work angry. 

I understand their anger because I've been there. I've been angry working next to high school kids and I've got a college degree. I've been upset that the new guy is getting promoted quicker then me. I've felt the disloyalty of a big corporation. So what advice do I have for them? Get fired.

Being unemployed puts a brand new perspective on your life. It teaches you that you aren't the shit and nothing will be handed to you. You have to play the game and move quickly. Just because you have been somewhere for a long time does not earn you the right for a promotion or respect. It doesn't even get you a watch anymore. All it shows is that you aren't ready for the next level. You have a complacency issue. 

So as a supervisor, a person of management, a well respected individual, how do I get these mean girls fired?

Sent from my Samsung Epic™ 4G Touch

Man Cave Day was a great success.

 The setup:
- Sunday and day off from work
- Apartment all to myself all day long
- Football Season
- Daylight savings, extra hour to sleep

The plan
- Sleep in
- Lay on the couch
- Watch a movie
- Watch football
- Have a brew
- Relax in my pj's

I got everything done. A couple of upsets happened. My Patriots lost to the Giants, again. And my fiance is still not home at a quarter to ten at night. I find it funny how she decides to spend her days off. She complains sometimes of how tired she is but than continues to be involved with so many activities. Her days off consist of Sorority meetings, pageants, shopping, planning the wedding, and cooking. I tell her she just needs to sit her ass at home and relax, but that doesn't seem like it will ever happen.

She tells me one of her fears is that she will be raising our future kids all by her self because I work late hours and I'm not off on weekends. I wonder if she will have time for kids with all the programs she is involved with.

This is just another case of how different we are. Its scary. I mean we like the same things but not the same way. I admire the fact she is so involved in community activities. I find myself jealous sometimes. I wish I was as committed. Do I ever see myself giving up a chance to have another Man Cave Day? Definitely not. Man Cave Day is what I work for. Its a day I've earned from hours on my feet dealing with crazy people about cellphones. Its a day I long for during long drives to my fiance's friend's wedding (people I hardly know).

Ahh, Man Cave Day. Can't wait to do it again.

Can't wait to get a Man Cave like this one day.

real G's move in silence like Lasagna

I just got that quote by Lil Wayne. For a long time I thought that line was so whack because I didn't know what it meant. That happens all the time doesn't it? The world is round. That didn't make sense right?

You can never guess who made me realize what the lasagna line meant. It was my 18 year old co-worker. For those of you that don't know, I just turned 28 and shame on you for not saying happy birthday. I got a decade on this kid. That means I was listening to hip hop music longer than he has and its a shame that he was the one to point out that the "G" in lasagna is silent. I know what you are thinking, revoke my "I like conscience rap" card. I can reluctantly hand it over because  this kid is amateur at the least.

He makes me think if I was as immature and uninteresting as he is right now. If I was, wow! What a decade can do to you. I mean I still love hip hop but most of the music being played now I don't think I can label it as hip hop. We need to start breaking down sub genres and what not. All that down south clickity clack and bibbty bop is not the same music I listened to growing up. This makes me sound like an old fart and that is exactly what I am amazed at; this kid is only ten years younger than me. How could have this happened? How long was I asleep last night? Who's the hottest rapper in the game? Is Biggie Smalls still the illest?

I can't imagine this getting any better. There is still good new music out there like: J. Cole, Wale, Hasin Bey, Talib Kweli, etc. Heck, Busta Rhymes is showing these youngings how to flow. But the longer and further away I get from home, the more I start to miss the days of lyrical flow, a message in the song, and boom bap. I think its safe to say I'm an Old G and I don't understand why anybody would use the spelling of a dinner meal in comparison to my overall behavior.