movies and smoothies: Boondock Saints II

the cult classic The Boondock Saints release a much anticipated sequel The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. Excuse me. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Let me retract my statement. The cult classic The Boondock Saints was an original, light hearted, shoot 'em up, bang bang, thriller that had me salivating for movies with great characters and unforeseen plots. The Boondock Saints II was a disgrace to the aforementioned. To be fair I will try not to compare the two movies henceforth but will more or less verify ramifications of horrendous story telling.

First of all, what the hell was the point of the movie. One minute these brothers are chilling in Scotland, next moment a priest died so they have to go back. The intro to the story was not needed because the viewers never had a connection with Scotland country, nor do they want to see bearded chaps playing 1000 B.C. (that's the bootleg version of 10,000 B.C.).

And what about the Mexican? Why was there a Mexican? Did the writers research the fan base and discovered a lot of Mexicans liked the first movie because of its catholic themes, so they said, "Hey they'll pay to see the sequel this time if there is a Mexican. Make them feel at home." Adding a Mexican character to this movie made it seem as if the original writers were fired, tied up, burned on a stake and some fresh from spring break in Cozmel college student were their replacements. Lack of authenticity.

They could have spent more money on casting a hotter female special agent. The whole lead up to who was the vixen in high heels, stripper tights, skinny skirt was a big let down. And it hurts me to say that because I like Julie Benz in Dexter. She's cute but in that motherly way. Her character was also a cop out from originality. "Hmm... Let's have the same FBI character," they said. "Hmm... Let's make her have a southern accent, " they said, "Then she'll be a bit different." Well I say you can't put a bow on a piece of turd. Its still sh!t.

They could have come up with a completely different story. There should have been new characters. There should have been better lines. Hell, if they even presented better gun fights this movie might have been worth watching. Instead, I threw up a little in my mouth.

RATING: raspberry blood of saints with some piss water.

saving the planet one bag at a time

i finally bought the grocery sacks at wallie world so that I can stop storing up empty plastic bags under my sink. I reuse them as trash bags because my trash can is that small. So now I just have to remember to bring the sacks in the store when I go shopping. I wonder if I go to a different store with the sacks, will I be shot on site.

Now I know what some of you are thinking, "now I'm going to go around preaching the word of saving fossil fuels and the benefits of driving electric." Not at all my friends. For I believe in the idea that as long as I am doing my part then the world is already a better place. You can do whatever you want, but I was once a Planeteer (I even had a ring). So you see my friends, I'm just fulfilling my childhood dreams. Yes the power is mine and I intend to use it for good and not evil.

sleepless in soonerville

being up for no reason definitely sucks. As if I don't have enough stress in my life now I can't do the one thing that cures my anxiety. Even worse is not being alone. Now jealously is playing into the many thoughts of how many hours am I missing in REM. I've got this burning in my stomach which tells me the things I am worrying about are valid concerns.

What am I to do?

It shouldn't be this hard.

transition

i went to church a couple of weeks ago. My mother would be so proud, but she is not because I don't go every week. This is my girlfriend's family church. The current pastor had been reassigned so it was his last sermon (a bit of a blessing for most people in attendance). He titled his last sermon: transition. At first I was ready to sit in church for another hour or so, playing my favorite childhood games of guess what that person is thinking or count how many tiles are on the ceiling or funny faces with kids; but then I started to relate with what the sermon was about.

The pastor was saying that during a time of transition everybody goes through a grieving period. People are grieving for the loss of something in their lives. Even though the change may be good, the sense of comfort is gone. Change brings different people that you're not used to and with that you lose what you were accustom to (good and bad).

I've held on to that idea because I'm going through many transitions right now. I'm starting a new position in sales coming from customer service. Now I will have to work based on commission and not salary. So I am now responsible for how much I make. That is scary because my attitude towards a job has always been based on the idea of, "they don't pay me enough for that," and now I have to face the fact that I pay myself.

I'm also going back to school. Sounds fun? Well then you pay for it. Its looking like I'll have no federal money. I will have to work full time and go to school in order to pay the massive loans I'm about to take out on top of the ones I owe for going to school the first time. All this to follow a dream I once had. I hope my dreams builds into a reality.

I'm renting my condo back in Georgia while I live in OKC. I just kicked my last tenant out and handed the keys over to property managers I've never met. I'm crossing my fingers and praying that this all goes smoothly.

So with all this change happening at once, I keep getting this pit in my stomach. Some say its gas. I say its a nervous reaction. This isn't the first time I've been nervous about something. I always know in the end that it is for my good in life and that I can step up to any challenge. But it is all still playing a jamboree on my nerves. I guess it just means I am grieving for my lost of comfort. But, what doesn't feel comfortable probably is a good thing (the other lesson I get from this moment).

Shout out to P. Best and Greater Cleaves Baptist Church.

movies and smoothies: Ninja Assassin

i was ready for it. I was ready for the slice 'em and dice 'em event of the time. The kung fu experience that was going to be intriguing and eye catching. It was the movie I have been trying to convince my girl to watch before it came out in the theaters. I pressed play as sliced the remote through the air and prepared to fulfill my fantasies as a super ninja.

*sigh*

First of all, I hate all kung fu flicks who have Asians speaking English. If I am to be immersed in my fantasy I want to speak a foreign language. I know that means subtitles and Americans are too lazy to read now a days, but c'mon! Keep it real. Then the cliches and inconsistencies started happening. The ninja falls in love. A ninja knows no love. A ninja is a warrior. His only love should be for the love of blood on his blade. And why is the ninja assassin fighting 50 other ninjas from the same tribe? Ninjas don't need other ninjas (only when there are multiple assassinations needed in one place).

This movie killed me to sleep. If they followed the rules, I could have been interested. Instead I got a nonsense plot, with nonsense ninja abilities, and a nonsense ending. They should have spent more time with actual assassinations then showing the training and poor character development.

RATING: redrum fruit punch and squeezed lime with a gingsu.