dreaming...

i've been having paralysis type dreams (when you are frozen still: can't move, can't speak, and everything seems real even the people in your dream). The last two out of three nights I've been stuck in my dreams, literally. Ever since that study I went to in college about sleep paralysis and how common it is in Caribbean folk, I've had these dreams more and more. I don't like it. I'm the type of dreamer that has total control. I fly in my dreams, dream myself out of dreams, control other people in dreams. I can't be paralyzed in my dream while someone antagonizes me. Its not a good feeling. Could these dreams mean I'm losing control of my own life?

Damn it to heck!

trustworthy?!

so you ask me to trust you but you give me no reason. Then you say, you trust me so I should trust you. That's the exact reason why I don't trust you: you put your trust in someone that has trust issues. I perform to the best of my ability but I know i'm bound for mistake. And when that happens you start to mistrust me. Should have never trusted me in the first place.

untrustworthy.

*points at you with a stinky face*

i'm going back to not caring about work. Life was better than. I got more important things to worry about than will I get a talking to for not getting my referrals today. The problem is whether or not I get my referrals I will get a talking to, so who gives a damn!

More important things are getting some new clients for logos. Its free for now but soon I'm coming after all the pennies in your piggy bank. Its time people. The man has had too many of my sweat and tears. I'm gonna get mine. Yessur!

i want my swagger back

its my birthday!!! so of course I'm looking at old pictures and reminiscing about the good times, bad times, oh and I'm drunk off my mind and can't figure out why I'm cold times.

So while questing through my history, I feel a sense of something lacking from my life currently. My swagger. Who stole it? I want it back and I want it back now!

Since it is 4 am eastern standard time I have to be truthful and honest. I know what took my swagger: work, alcohol, and the love of life. Alright I know how to deal with the first two, but the latter...

How can something so good for me be so wrong? Wanting and desiring more from life should be my sole motivation to keep my swagger up but sadly and with a lot of disappointments, life has stolen my swagger.

I wish life would let me borrow my swagger for one moment.



Oh and a stripper gave me this scripture the other day. John 14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."

Only in Atlanta.

when everything is done and said

weekends off consist of me making up do it yourself projects in order to make daily accomplishments. I've had this feeling lately at work, after realizing that I hate it so much, that I don't do enough when I'm not at work to really complain that I shouldn't be in the confined space. So these projects consist of gardening, building a shelf, painting my bathroom and bedroom with full insignia, cleaning the garbage disposal, organizing, and giving myself a haircut. All of that boiled down to 5 hours on Saturday morning.

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!!

So I watch movies a lot. I've especially enjoyed my netflix and the tv series that i rent. Its like I'm watching tv but not watching tv cuz there is no commercials and other crap to distract me like waiting a week for the next episode (hey birthday ideas here people pay attention). And of course when i get really bored. I create my own videos. That's why we are blogging today folks.