movies and smoothies: Hard Candy

alright this one was creepy. The plot is about this girl who has stalked an internet pedophile. She meets up with this guy at a local cafe where she acts coy and teases him until they get back to his place for drinks. I feelings at first are the questions that I assume everyone asks, "Why do teenage girls get themselves into this mess?" For me it doesn't make sense: she's fourteen, he's in his thirties and he happens to be interested in the same things you are? Isn't that a clear sign that something must be wrong with this so called adult?

Then I remember what being a teenager is like, especially one that doesn't always fit the in crowd. You believe that you are impenetrable, nothing bad will ever happen to you. And for teenage girls I imagine that they have learned that boys are interested in them and they can use that to their advantage (correct me if I'm wrong). Then the terrible thing happens when playing next to the microwave that's cooking metal, it explodes.

But a twist happens in this story. Instead of the girl getting drugged and molested, the pedophile gets drugged and tied up. Now the fun begins. The girl uncovers all of the dirty secrets of the guy, even murder of some previous unsuspecting teenager. When she finds the evidence, instead of just calling the cops and getting this sick man arrested (turns to audience to say, "hold this is the good part", bootleg movie moment) she cuts his balls off.

Dammmmnnnnnnn!!!!!

What makes her any better now? Now the hero has become the villain and the villain is the victim. What a mind blowing experience. I won't go into the rest because after that the truth gets reveal. You women need to stop doing that stuff. I feel conflicted about what happened because he was a pedophile so he deserved it but then again she cut the penis and the balls then sewed him up and asked if he wanted them ask keepsakes. If I had a choice between dying and getting my balls removed for non-medical reasons, pass me the rope and point me to the tree.  Even if I had testicular cancer, I would consider dying before I let them take my jewels.

RATING: strawberries and banana margarita to help ease the pain