dreaming of the amazon

forget this, I'm moving to brazil. I'm going to live off the amazon river trading goods with the locals on my boat. I'll find me a nice brazilian woman that knows nothing about a Halle Berry or a Paris Hilton or a Will Smith. All she will know is how to make a living by painting on ceramic vases and blank canvas. And she'll make love to me and only me and think of nothing better. The music we will love will be the chorus of our children running around as the river caresses the boat. At night when we pass through pirate infested waters my family will recognize me as the brave warrior who shows no mercy to those that intefere with our lives. My wife will sleep comfortablely in my arms at night, knowing that I am her protector and she is the precious treasure in my life that I will kill and survive for.

That's what I'll do. Leave all of the foolishness behind and go back to being a man. No desire for riches and gold, no want for anything better than a delicious meal. Bills, who needs them? Expenses, for what? A budget, get the flup outta here. Now if I can just save enough money to get a first class airplane ticket.

and now a moment with g smooth

g smooth on thick chicks:
"They can get it"

g smooth on older women:
"They can get it too"

g smooth on taller women:
"They can get it with a ladder"

g smooth on women with reading glasses:
"I'll throw a book at them and they can get it"

g smooth on women with kids:
"They can get it, but keep the kids at home"

g smooth on women that talk to much:
"They can get it in the mouth"

g smooth on women with an attitude:
"They can get it. Beeahtch!"

g smooth on commitment:
"She won't get it, she never will"

in the spirit of things

Happy holidays yall. Unless you brave to go against the government, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, throw in a Kwanzza because of affirmitive action. Holidays have been reduced down to one thing, being with family. This year I got no gift, I didn't want one. Just being at home with the folk that first loved was gift enough. This year actually was for the new generation, the grandkids. Oh how their little minds are blank slates ready to be filled with whatever crap we tell them only later to have that slab broken into pieces and reconstructed leaving gaps of forgotten information.

Excuse me.

So I had fun at home and now I'm back to the living dead called a job and bills to pay. Besides being able to do my job in my sleep, literally, I find nothing interesting in life anymore. This sucks. So for 2007 things will be different. Don't know how yet but that's the fun part of life: doing things that you have no idea how it will turn out.

The Find

While searching for the most of the most, the most will not see what most have already found. In search of the find.

untitled thought

I feel like saying something so meaningful, so important that it shakes the very steps of every politician, every right winged, left winged, democratic, republican, every man that shares the air on this earth, every woman the births into the this world another being of hate, love, tragedy, success. I want to say something powerful, but all I have to say is... what's a ni**a gotta do to get some food around here?

yo whats up

what's up with people telling their whole life story when they need something from you. And then they say, well this is between me and you. Well player I never wanted to know in the first place, so how come all of a sudden I have to hold a secret. That's not fair. I really don't care what happened, what the hell do you want? It seems to me like they want to sugarcoat the whole asking process. Don't mess around with me, you need something say it.

something interesting I heard a couple of days ago. Basketball and football are hood sports. Really?! I ended up agreeing with the person because, unfortunately its true. Black people are great at sports because we were bred to be but now its a way out of the hood, so many people in the hood play it everywhere. So what are the odds of my future son playing for a professional team, slim to none (unless lisa leslie is looking to have some babies). But there are other sports like tennis, golf, pool. They are still considered white sports but still atheletic therefore any black kid would dominate the game meaning: scholarships galore baby. That's right I won't have to pay a cent for my kids' college. We have to think ahead black people. Sure basketball and football are great sports (eh hem, THE greatests sports), but if your kid can run real fast, try putting a racket in his hands and see if he can hit a ball at the same time. Might be a good investment.

now let me break something down so that it will forever be broke (Love Jones). Why all of a sudden I'm the worst guy in the world because I didn't want to be with a couple of girls. I didn't even date them, there was no relationship (which I made very clear) but now I'm considered one of the bad guys. Listen, I like what I like when I like what I see. And if I don't see you in my near or distance future, you're just a for now girl. No strings, no emotion just kick it with me for a while and move on when I don't call you no more. To tell you the truth... wait a minute I could tell you the truth about yourself and the reason why you just a for now girl but I don't need all that noise afterwards. And I'm not saying I'm God's gift to man (well maybe to one special lady) cause there is a lot of things wrong with me, but I don't need the things wrong with you becoming my problem. Ya feel me. So ease back, relax, and........... Let it burnnnnnnnnnn. (Usher)

I hate youuuu
I hate youuuuu
I hate youuuuuu
You're cool.....
I hate you and I'm out! (Half Baked)

Cruisin' Like I'm Grown and Sexy

I was on a cruise a couple of weeks ago with the coolest people on the cruise boat. Disclaimer, the cruise was filled with old white people. Either way I had fun. Lots of fun. So much fun I'm now physically tired from the vacation. That and now I realize I have a lot of work to catch up on. A lot. I wish I was back on the boat everyday playing Uno at 3 a.m. That's right, there will never be a time like that here in ATL unless if I'm doing a project for school.

My greatess realization on this cruise is that I need to hang out with college graduates. Something about these type of people make me feel comfortable and urge me to continue in the reach for success. Graduates are like everybody else, probably party harder than anybody else but occassionally you will find us in a conversation with some substance and meaning. Not neccessarily intellectual, but definitely worth dicussing. There is nothing like meeting another college graduate because I feel like there are on my level and won't be labelled as stuck up or boogie. All and all I love people with some thought and at the same time love to have fun. To every other type of person I meet, good luck on trying to be associated with me.

Here are some pics:

Passing Bye

beautiful eyes, beautiful smile
beautiful walk, beautiful talk
you're beautiful but don't want to hear it
you see it coming from a mile away
taste it in the back of your throat
you almost choke, gag reflex from it all

so when i step up, there is no room for failure
can't express the girl i imagine you to be
the misuse of confidence can lead to the ignorance of your heart
will i lose it all before the touch of your soul
that i can't control but looking into your eyes is all i own
along with a smile

you're young, the sparkle of an unwritten future blinks on your eye
the idea of me included in your after thoughts is a dream
i can't wait to close my eyes and feel you inside
so let me tell you exactly how i wish this first meeting to end
to leave you with the thought that i was nice
and wouldn't mine saying hello again

Trapped

When you stepped out of bed this morning you didn't think you would find yourself here did you? Didn't think you would be trapped in a state of mind where nothing seems real but everything feels like the scorching pain you get when you remind yourself of the furture. Well now you are here. You have nothing else to face but what's in front you. Can you handle it? Oh you want to look at like you have some heart left? Jam this into your heart. There is no way out. You are too scared to end it and too weak to fight it. What you want to be over soon will last longer than you can possibly believe and you will feel every last emotion this sick and twisted world has to offer. You can't wait till you're on the other side can you? It'll soon come, till then this is life. Enjoy.

(untitled)

if I can just interject. Wet willies are real!!! That means nothing to a lot of you I know but who cares. Cuz really do I ever make sense. I'm at work today staring into nothingness and secretly typing that the worst place I'm ever wasted time is right here at work. It sucks. Damn women keep cussing me out I'm a have to slap a trick.
Moving on. Music is big to me but I have nothing new. But guess what? I got a new stereo in my room. Now I can listen to my favorite tunes in the morning.
(Thoughts are incomplete)

put another 45lb plate on that side

I'm back in the gym you lazy bums. Yeh I'm talking to you, internet browser. As you sit in front of the screen veggitating and slowly dying as you soul is sucked through your usb port, I was at the gym. Pumping iron, feeling like a man, feeling accomplished, feeling young again. I'm back in business baby. I just need a routine, so if anybody knows of one holla. I'm trying to get bigger and more defined.

The most fun about the gym is the 20 min. of cardio. It starts of easy and I think I can do this all day. Then five minutes roll by and I start breathing heavy (ah oh). Sweat starts running down my face. I huffing and puffing but all I can think of is where I used to be doing the same kind of exercise. For instance when I'm running on the treadmill I think of the espinage I used to run in Boston. The Charles River to my left, the skyline, the Mass Bridge, all beautiful at night. Today I was on the bike and I thought of when I used to ride a bike to get everywhere. The most fun was playing tag in the woods. Pedaling as fast as I can to get away or catch someone, that was fun. Next thing you know my 20 minutes are up and I have to cool down. I call it my way home.

Peace to BU and the rock. Always in my foundation.

generation to generation

What I just realized the other day scares me. I may not be able to teach my kids everything I want. Think about it. As I grow older I realized there are things my parents didn't tell me about. Did they want me to figure it out on my own or was it that they didn't have time. For instances, they never taught me how to handle money, get a job, or any responsibility outside of school. Were they sure that school would get me everything I need in life (sadly I'm finding out academics is not the only thing in life to learn). How come pops never had talks with me about paying bills or having business ventures? Answer: the man was too tired. Working hard to pay the bills, fixing a house, fixing a car and then he was suppose to have one on one time with me. Man when I come home now, I don't want to do nothing but sleep. Imagine when I have kids. I'm not going to think about going home to teach a kid another lesson in life. All I want to do is rest. And that sucks. There is so much I want to teach my kids but I may just wind trying to make sure they are disciplined and well behaved (which is even harder). Well all I can say to my future kids is good luck. Life is never easy.

spoken

Say something powerful
Say something meaningful
Say something the kids will won't to hear and listen to
So that one day when they start to understand the meaning of all this
What you said made sense.

When you say it,
Say it with a base in your voice
Say it with a slick metaphor
Say it with a cool rhyme that's on time and oh so fine
Cuz the only way the people will listen is if there is a melody to it.
And if they don't get it at least they enjoyed it.

Right before you say what you're gonna say
Sit down and say it to yourself
Make you the audience of your mind
And if what is coming out is bullspit, take it out
Say it till you get it right

Because one day you'll have to tell the world.
One day they'll all look back at you for the answer
One day you will stand from an urge deep inside your knees
One day you'll be in front of the microphone with a pair of ears on each head
Yearning for your voice.

Speak the truth
Speak your mind
Speak from your grandma's soul
Speak from the depth of the place where you're afraid to go
Speak until you're cold and graved in bed

And when you've spoke, walk up to the little boy
Ask him did you remember what I said
If the answer is yes, then you may proceed to your death
But if no, you must kiss him on the head.
May God bless his soul through the eternity he faces ahead.

a birthday hardly remembered but never forgotten

Peace and love to all who were with me for another year of this life. I appreciate all your messages, calls and good times. Thank you for your support and encouragement as I make my way through this jungle of a world.

Now that is out the way. Birthday night was something else this year. No details here. If you know me, I told you, if I didn't tell you, you can guess. To all of yall that didn't call or leave a message = bums. I had fun though, morning after was horrible but its all worth it because the night before will always be remembered with a smile.

I'm a wild boy and thats all I can say. Peace.

Oh my.

First and formost, rest in piece to Steve Erwin. He lived and died like a soldier. I think his death was proper. Straight through the heart so no chance of pain or bloody mishaps. It begs the question whether or not we all are willing to die for what we do. Steve put his life in danger everyday to teach and entertain the world. No one else dare do this but he did because he loved what he did. Do you love what you do? Would you take a bullet for what you do? I know what you are saying, man I work at a desk and yes I enjoy it but there is no chance of harm unless a stapler back fires and hits me in the eye. True but what if one day you had to stand up for what you believe in at your job. Would you be willing to risk it all for that belief?

All I'm saying is, stay away from sting rays unless you're prepared to take one through the heart if you are so lucky.

Still hard being black

It sure is. And you know the worst part its even harder being purple, orange, blue or green. Maybe not green cuz even Captain Kirk got with a green chick. But still being a black raisin in a cup of milk feels pretty low. C'mon can a nigga learn how to swim already. Where are my other people? How long do I have to wait before black people catch on to being something other a nigga trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents (that don't even make sense Pac, don't even make sense).

Let's move on. I went to the club the other day. Lloyd was there. I didn't care. Jeezy was there. I didn't care. But about 100 other people did so when I stepped on there shoes while trying to move through the crowd they got a "little" angry (little cuz I was smaller than them so how would it look beating up on me). The lasting memory of the night was when one of Jeezy's boys started throwing money in the crowd. Two things happened:

I passed by one dude who grabbed the money from the air and threw it back at Jeezy's boy. I told dude "that was gangsta."

Then I passed by this one girl who had missed the whole fiasco so she stood there like the second coming of Christ. I knew she was waiting for more money cuz nobody was standing around her and she was looking right at Jeezy's boy. Mind you Jeezy's boy is like 10 feet away from Jeezy. All I could think of is broke ass hefter. I proceeded to slap her and tell her ass to get a job, better yet go to school and get a good job instead of coming to club and looking for hand outs. (Yall know I didn't slap her but you get the picture).

Now let's talk about how I was watching Jeezy being niggerish, I could think of 150+ people that could eat off that one chain of his. Just a disgusting display of wealth. I don't how people get excited about a guy who raps about getting money; from selling drugs none the less. Niggas support that? Support me you ignorant fools. I'm struggling trying to make something of myself but when I tap miss pretty young thang on the shoulder all I get is a sneer. Do a public service and dance for a song.

All and all I'm still wondering if it was worth $20. Yes deep pocket change. I dunno, next time if don't hear free before 11pm I got a movie from Netflix at home waiting to entertain me.

Peace yall, see you at the hideaway.

Eh hem... Poem time.

My poetic sense is my defense.
Leaving the cold blooded heated to rip and vent
Its tense. Let me release your soul with the tip of blade
At the tip of my tongue by the words that's been made
Is it heaven or hell that drives men to discover their existence
Chasing after death when we yell rather than listen
Yes its true, the beginning of the end begins with you
If no meaning is sought then the lesson is still new
Let's teach the souls the furture can be a gift
A time left to enjoy her bossum and the very first kiss
Eternal bliss. The black sun shall rise again.

She Gave Me the Runs

Eh-hem.


She gave me the runs.
Her smooth soft skin drew me in
I chose this particalur one because of the way she made me feel
This time she wasn't chunky
This time she wasn't big
This time I thought we had something going for each other
I wouldn't have to store her in my cold cold heart
Instead caress her against the base of my being
And lick her every essence

But her time was up.
She turn our love around into the evol that consumed my inner being
Destroying my scruture, interrupting my time
Leaving me with only a bowl of the remains of our quick relationship
She gave me the runs.
And with that being said, I take another shot to head
I keep my body from being fed to allow the process to begin
In the end I return to my old friend:
Ginger who Ale's the boiling within
Expired Peanut Butter, I hope to never meet again.

Say Something

Blogger help me please to get some ish off my chest
I'm stressed, the jobs got a blade to my neck
I come home heated to heated dungeons of my living
Flying needles threaten over my head for the sacrifices to be given
This is it. The days of pain and toil have begun
The sky has darken from rays of the black sun
The game is strong and not meant for every player
You take down who you can, throned as a soul slayer
And all along, the one that stands by you is the strongest
Dealing with your bull charging into her heart is the hardest
You can't pour out every emotion cuz most cups come pre-filled
There's no sense crying out the water's drowning from the last spill
I shriek. The thought that my rock will be gone soon
A collection of my soul in rhytmn echos in my room
I sit still, as though not to upset the balance
Breath in the deep frustration and release the screams into silence
I am the enzyme, the spark, the ignition call me two sticks, better yet two stones
But don't slap me together, for the revolution is coming and I must be thrown

Bills Bills Bills

Water posed to be free (c)Comic View.

Every week I feel like I'm paying a bill. I can't even get new glasses cuz I'm afraid I will not have enough money for a bill. I know what you saying, "G just budget." I am but things keep changing: a new bill here, more hours here. I never know when its enough. Plus I'm trying to live. I ain't blowing all of my money if I go out but dang it can I get a drink (or buy a lucky lady a drink)? I just wish somebody would drop 10 g's on me. I would smile and run to the bank and pay off some loans.

Anyways, we all got bills, ain't nothing to cry or write about. I'll tell you something to write about: making it happen. I'm getting so good at my job they starting to hate me. We the worst bank in the area but I believe they put a bunch of us together to turn it around. And damn it, we gonna make it happen. Because if I can do it, everybody should do it.

And on making it happen. I have no idea whether or not its appropriate to holla at girls that come to my window. They look good, but I don't wanna say anything that will get a sexual harrasment suit on me or make anybody uncomfortable banking with me. Ain't no worse feeling when I'm the only window open and there is only one customer in line but she wanna wait for somebody else. Burrnnnnnnn!!! Some of it I think is sexism. There are a lot more female tellers and customer feel more comfortable. I think a teller is a female job. Because all the guys like talking to the ladies and all the ladies like talking about lady stuff to the ladies. Where does that leave me, with the mexicans. I have no problem with the mexicans, I'm with you on the immigration thing but damn learn a couple of banking words when you open an account. Its your money, you should know how to say cash, deposit, and cashback.

In the end we going to make it happen this year. One way or the other. "By any means necessary"(c)Martin on Malcom.

Updates on my cooking game:

Meals I've made:
Fried Chicken: put some flour on boneless skinless chicken. Ummm that was good.
Pork Chops: Chops where to small, but i marinated them joints over night they was okay.
Rice: rice game is on point. I don't even burn the bottom. Just need to find the right amount of salt.
Sos pra(gray to you english speaking eaters): Black beans was pretty good, Lima beans didn't make out so good.
Corn Bread: don't mess with my cornbread.

UP NEXT: Barbeque wings and Fried Chicken wings cuz I still have some flour left.

What if it is about money

We all want it, we all need it, we all are going after it (well, except African bush families, they just trying to survive, but I ain't mad at them though). Moneymoneymuuhhhnay! Muuhhnay! In our continuous search for it those that didn't have success in gaining the green came up with the idea that not all life is about getting money. Life is suppose to be about love and relationships and people. Forget that. I don't remember the last time seeing someone with money being sad. Being able to afford anything in life, especially every little thing must be a great feeling. I know it must because when I have some extra money and getting some more mints then usually feels good, so getting the extra navigation system in your new mercedes benz must be incredible.

Leads me to think that all the thugs, criminals, and hustlers that aren't really rich like the white folk with trust funds but still got money to get the benz got it right. They getting money right. They looking fly and blinging and attracting dumb broads for a night. Sure they may not live as long or the drug thing catches up to them or somebody snitches and there is jail time but hey for a couple of months if not years they were ballas during their prime. Sure they are doing wrong killing each other but for the moment at the club while I'm there trying to holla at the same girls and all the ballas have to do is show up with the bling and ride and girls are all over them, they're having more fun then me. And if they aren't, let me get some money and show them how to do it.