Kevin Hart has sealed the deal.

Seriously Funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81eZ6TFcQtg

I think with his last stand up Seriously Funny, Kevin Hart has taken his career to a new level. He has now made it to the hall of fame of stand up comedy. I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time. His jokes can make everybody laugh which is why he is going to start seeing more of that white people money (I hope Kevin got his trip back to Africa planned out).

Its great to see a comedian do so well in his craft. Its tough to see him not not do so well in movies and shows though. His last movie Something Like A Business, wasn't that good. I don't know what he was trying to do or where the movie was going. I guess its still hard out there for a pimp. When I saw that movie I thought oh well he had a few could stand ups. At least he was in my most favorite scene in 40 year Virgin and I'm pretty sure BET will continue to play Soul Plane (why, I don't know). But then I saw Seriously Funny and now I'm a Kevin Hart fan again. Good job Kev. Don't go down without a fight, brotha!

*oh, and for yall who thought I had the inside scoop on some major movie deal for Kevin, bless your heart.

Shout out to Ye.

Kanye West Live at Facebook HQ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exNOyZ220jg

Chain Heavy (Acapella)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CBpVW5Mm-k


Mama's Boyfriend (Acapulco)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Umjy314sQQ

Orignal post on OKAYPLAYER.

movies and smoothies: Favorite movie moments

ITS A LADDDDDY (c) Ladies' Man
In every movie there is always a moment when they introduce the lady of the movie. She seems to saunter into a room with theme music or is introduce to the male character and everything just stops. She is the most beautiful girl in the room. The girl who is going to change everything in the protagonist's story. When this moment happens I always say the famous line from Leon Phelps in The Ladies Man, "Its a laddddy."

MESSAGE!
The movies with a moral message always crack me up. Its usually blatantly obvious. Like the film makers are court ordered to present message to the kids in order to make the movie. I can't help but scream, "MESSAGE!" like in the Wayne's Bros. movie, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka.

THAT TINGLING FEELING
I'm a sucker for loving and inspiring moments. Every time a movie gets me excited I get this tingling feeling. This usually happens during football movies when the team is all huddled up, doing there chant, getting ready to do damage on the field. Its heart felt. Emotions are strong. You can sense the high level of testosterone. And I feel a little gay for saying this.

THE AFTER EFFECT
After I see a good film; after I've been indulged in an emotional, intensifying experience; I walk out of the theatres (or get up from the couch) feeling like I'm still emerged in the plot. Its almost as if my life will be the sequel. If there were crazy car scenes, then I drive home as if I'm still being chased. If there were intricate fight scenes, I'm kicking the leaf off the branch in the parking lot like kung fu master. This doesn't work with love stories though or does it? I don't know. Ask my girl.

just something to say

i am the sheep of the anarchist that has strayed from the herd. Viva la revolution!

movies and smoothies: Surrogates

*sigh. Bruce Willis is getting old. And that hurts because he is really going to die hard. Well his career is anyways. Alright, same ol', same ol': the future is replaced by androids and humans have found another way to be lazy and fat while decreasing crime with big brother eyes. Wait a minute! Is this iRobot mixed with Minority Report and a splash of Grumpy Old Men (that's an old guy joke. Its all I had. I know. I'm ashamed too)? So Bruce Willis is so old they have to graphically enhance his face in order for people to withstand from purging at the sight of his decryption (dude is old, that's all I gotta say).

I guess my opinion of this movie is that it is pretty redundant. Nothing I hate more than an unoriginal plot line that tries to throw a great twist in the end. Because all I can imagine is that when the producers were pitching this idea they said, "Think, iRobot mix with Minority Report." And when everybody turned the idea down they thought, "That's okay we'll get Bruce Willis to star in it because he ain't doing nothing with his life. You seen Live Free or Die Hard right?" You can miss this one people, because I'm pretty sure you've seen it already.

RATING: an aged banana daiquiri because you'll need the alcohol to get through it

movies and smoothies: Breaking Bad

hold up! Stop the record! If you haven't witnessed the development of a very original, very insane, very funny at the life of desperate chemist, then you haven't seen Breaking Bad. I love this show because from the very first scene, I was hooked. I'll never forget the first episode: this old man in his underwear, holding a gun, in the middle of the street, in the desert, and police sirens approaching quickly. My first impression: what the hell?! I was intrigued and I still am with Season 3.

The beauty of this series is the destruction. You have a very smart chemist who never reached his potential in his career and is now a high school teacher. His son is handicapp. His wife, pregnant. The bills are mounting, his relationship with his family is crumbling, he is working at a carwash to make ends meet. On top of all that, the cream on this delapitated, dense cake is that he has cancer. Devastating right? So what does a man who has been trying to play with the cards has been delt and is down to his last chips? Hook up with a meth head and take over the drug market with the purist form of product ever seen in the desert. Duh?!

I feel funny rooting for the drug dealer in this show. My moral compass spins around uncontrollably when trying to decide if a desperate man decides to do wrong to protect his family, is he still a hero? Thank goodness I don't have to make that kind of decision. But with this show, I at least know how to handle myself in room full of drug dealing, murderous thugs.

RATING: The Heisenberg Special: blueberry crystal blast smoothie

movies and smoothies: Cloverfield

I have to tell you why this is one of my favorite movies of all time. I know when it came out there was a lot of people that got sick and hurled in the movie theaters because of the shaky camera use. This I think made people dislike this movie but it made it more real and entertaining. The reason I love this movie is because it's a story about love. Don't let the mysterious, destructive, gigantor fool you. Cloverfield is a love story.

*spoiler alert: if you haven't seen this movie yet, for shame. It is three years old. In the 21st century that is like 21 years old. You don't have to wait that long to either rent or bootleg. I don't condone renting. 'flix it*

Several times I've compared my love for my girlfriend with the adventure that took place for the main character of the movie. Would I drag my best friend across town during the destruction of a major city, walk through the damp and dark subways, climb the nearby tower buildings and jump into the apartment of my trapped girlfriend (who at the time, I was arguing with)? I love you sweetheart if you are reading this but... I'm just playing. What was the question?

The best surprise is in the dvd commentary. You know if I'm watching the commentary it was a good movie. There is a alternate ending that is even creepier and the explanation of your gigantic mysterious friend is precious. Almost cute.

RATING: a mango punch smoothie that will bite your head off

to all my viewers

feel free to leave comments now. I have opened the restrictions to any and everybody. Don't worry if you have nothing important to say. If you've read any of my post you will realize I don't either.

movies and smoothies: The Mist

Stephen King's T H E  M I S T. I love small towns. They are the best place to unleash hell and everybody will act accordingly to the predicted rules of the bible (which I'm pretty sure started out as scary stories to get kids to do well but somehow have become bedtime stories).

What is in the mist? Will I be damp in the mist? Will my girlfriend have to worry about her hair in the mist? All your questions will be answered when you watch this film.

It's really a film about the human behavior (which I so want to study. Sorry for the valley girl moment). The explanation of mankind is perfectly set inside a grocery store where everyone is safe during this apocalypse. There is plenty of food, medicine, and even air conditioning. But there is one problem: people. And what happens to people: they become mobs. And what is a mob? Well my friends, that is just mankind's defense mechanism to troubling times.

The Mist does not disappoint. I won't spoil what is in the mist, because I want you to enjoy that surprise. And the ending? Oh my, the ending. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

RATING: a peach and banana smoothie with misty frost.

movies and smoothies: the edukators

welcome to my movie critic segment. You all don't know this but I am a lover of the theatre (well not the real movie theater because that just costs an arm and a leg). I love netflix. I don't watch television anymore since they switched to digital and I missed out on the converter box, so all I do is watch movies from netflix on my xbox 360. And now that I've got this new blender, I'm making smoothies while I watch movies to beat these hot summer days. So movies and smoothies it is! I'll try not to spoil the whole plot for you.

Yesterday I gazed at the German film, The Edukators (now streaming on Netflix). Its a story about love, betrayal, and the capitalists pigs who do nothing but take advantage of those who are weak and how these pigs must be stopped. How you may ask? Isn't it obvious: break into there million dollar homes and rearrange their furniture of course. What? You didn't read the manual on the modern little revolutionist?

This film is a sleeper and I don't mean many have missed out on the great originality of the story. I fell asleep before the end. The plot of this story did not need to be dragged out of 298 minutes. I guess there aren't any deleted scenes in the dvd extras because they decided to extend every message and moral of the story. After I awoke from my slumber and my second finished smoothie, I realized I had no interest in seeing the end of this hippie film and turned it off. So folks you can miss this one.

RATING: a strawberry banana smoothie spiked with nyquil. Nighty night.

earth shattering

You're 25 and it hits you: you're not a little boy no more. Naw, you gots responsibilities and bills. People are looking to you and they don't want to be disappointed. Up until now the road was easy. Now there is an unbeaten path through what seems to be a dangerous jungle. You look around and there is no guide. Your compass is spinning wildly in every direction. You take your first step and something bites you in the leg. You take the next step and you trip on a pebble. I know what you're thinking: don't take that next step!
Look up young one. And keep looking up. Don't worry about the ground. Your steps are ordered.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

jumping for joy

I'm not an excitable person. Meaning when something good happens to me I don't start jumping around all excited and happy. Actually, let me clarify: it takes a lot for me to be excited with joy. The little accomplishments in life don't change much for me. I still have to pay bills. I still have to watch what I eat. I still have to do the speed limit at the end of every month.

I only show great joy when there is great achievement; life changing achievement. Like when I won a computer from the NAACP ACT-SO program or when I got job or when the Celtics won the ship. You see I can brag about those things. Everything else is just part of the job or part of life. They are accomplishments sure, but if I award myself every time I did the job I was supposed to do then I would have nothing to look forward to.

So just accept the smile people. Because that is all that it is worth.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Free Your Mind Part2

watching green grass grow

peaking over the splinters
Staring at the growth glisten in the rays.
They stand tall together
Making their unity seem everlasting.
The jealousy pains my toes.
I balance with one leg on top of the garbage lid
Its strength gives out and I fall back down to earth.
the ground feels beaten into a hard concrete
As I lean against the fence I look out to my lawn.
I sit at the end of the dirt path
I can't help but walk over and look every morning
Its such a good grass
Their dew rests gently on top of the blades
My dew seems to make muddy puddles
What's happening over this barrier that isn't happening here?
I grab my tools and crawl to the hole in the dirt
I reach into my pocket and pull out a handful of seeds
If winter comes too early this will all be in vane
Still, I've seen the possibilities
Next spring, I want to sit on my porch and watch the eyes look over the splinters
I'll cover these seeds with my bare hands
Let the sweat drip off my chin and be the first to water the earth
I pray these grounds will grow to luscious green grass.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

stress reliever

cleavage is a beautiful thing. I know I'm not suppose to talk about it. Its in appropriate and perverse to mention to a woman that her physical attribute is the only thing I want to share an emotional attachment to but I can't help it. In this struggling world the smallest joy in life is being able to see some cleavage from time to time. Its a stress reliever. It reminds you that its all worth it. That one day (if not tonight)I will have an opportunity to get up close an personal with a great pair.

And that my friends is the GREATEST joy in life.

You do the math.
5318008
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

stunned and confused

when a boxer gets stunned on Fight Night Round 4 his stance becomes weak. His hands drop to his waist and he struggles to stay on his feet. Eventually his opponent will try to knock him out with one blow.

I can relate.

Not because I've ever been in fight before but because, my life hasn't turned out to be exactly how I planned. So I'm left stunned. I've realized that many people go through this feeling of weak knees and the inability to know what is coming next.

I had this epiphany when watching a talk show about off line dating. Isn't that just regular dating? How did we get to the point where we need to talk about dating that doesn't require a monthly subscription? My answer is that we are all stumbling to get back to a place where we are in control and satisfied with our progress.

I think being stunned leaves us to do desperate things. Instead of trying to regroup and block the upcoming blows, we swing aimlessly and eventually meet the canvas. Please people, don't assume you have to try everything to get you out of your situation. Just step back, realize what you did wrong, focus on the goal, and try again. If that doesn't work, hug it out.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

a terrible week for the chef

monday, survived my first tornado scare. These folks in okc think this is normal life. I don't know anywhere else where I have to stop what I'm doing and duck for cover in a ditch.

Tuesday, I broke my back helping a friend move that took all day (from 8 to 6 PM). I've discovered a new rule with that: you get 4 hrs free. $10 per hour afterward and I'm bringing my car as an escape plan. My back still hurts.

Wednesday, you know black people always late. That's why when you get invited to a dinner party, go ahead and eat in advance. Because you might end up starving to death waiting for a meal that was planned for 8PM be served at 11PM.

Today. I'm broke. What more can I say?(c) Jay-Z. I'm looking at selling some furniture at this point. no joke. I'm wiping my old computer hard drive as you read so I can sell it. I just need to cover the bills for the end of the month. But then what about next month? I heard of a website where you can do volunteer work and get your loans paid back: its sponsorchange.org
Hopefully after my back heals I can make a change.

ON DA GOOD FOOT! My girl is gaduating OU Law this Saturday. I'm so proud of her. Congrats sweet baby!

Anywho. Back to work. Signing out. Flossymae.

WHAT MORE CAN I SAAAAYYYY!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

do white people have jobs?

i swear every movie I see it seems like Caucasian Americans (from here on out they will be referred to as white people; its the most PC I got), have nothing else to do but get in suspenseful trouble or take road trips across America or sit in coffee shops talking bullspit. I seriously want to know if white people go to work. I mean I see white people at work everyday but I just think they are the unfortunate ones. How come there aren't any movies about the unfortunate ones?

If I watch a black movie (I'm sorry African-American), no forget that, BLACK movies are about going to work or selling drugs. White folk movies just seem to be about sitting around in a world where there are no bills, no high gas prices, no credit card limit. And I'm not just talking about mainstream, big studio movies (but they are included). I'm watching a lot of independent movies and documentaries that just seem to portray white people with no job. What the hell?!






Maybe its just their days off?

Top down

Do people get dressed in a certain direction? certain people seem to have a great fascination for sneakers and shoes but then they wear plain white tees or shirts that look like they got for just attending a gathering. While others have every baseball cap to match their shirts but have some plain jeans and sneakers.

I know I dress top down. I'm not that impressed by shoes. When I look at someone I notice there face and upper body before their feet. Sure of you got a nice pair of jordans on you deserve a compliment but no matter what you are walking in you can't beat the look of a nice smile.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

mr. money

the other day at work, a woman introduced herself and when asked if she had a husband or boyfriend she said, "I'm married to my money, so money is my husband."

hmm.

lately I've been on this kick to 180 my life: change my thoughts on my diet, drinking, weight, money, stress; my success in life. And unlike before, I'm willing to take this gradually. I've started exercising and instead of forcing my self to run (i love the accomplishment of running, but I'm never excited to get up and do it) I'm walking for 40 minutes. Instead of getting on quick fix diet, I'm watching my portions and cutting back on calories. I've stopped drinking (let me give you a moment for that,
I'll wait)...

i've also tasted what this success in my life will bring and that is the biggest difference. I want to be married to money too. Hopefully my coworker won't mind a little office affair. I think I'm done with the idea that I can be happy without money. Its sad in a way. It is as if I've lost my youth. I will no longer consider myself broke from now on. Instead I'm running the rat race harder until the wheel falls off.