i ain't asking to pass GO

i'm back "home" (a state of mind if you ask me), in ATL. Its only been a couple of days I feel like its I've already over stayed my welcome. Its time to go. A funny feeling came over me when I walked through the door on Sunday evening. It felt like disappointment. Go figure.

I was glad old Besty (aka green eyed bandit, my car) made it back home. I was on cruise control the whole way listening to Raheem Devaughn and pretending I was in a band. The whole time though I was worried that my tires would pop like last time or the squeaking noise from the brakes would be more than I thought. Every bump on the road made my heart beat harder.

After everything, the trip was great. Not that I did much but I learned a whole lot and that is what is important to me in these days. Its easier to apologize than to ask permission.

Now give me my $200!

on the road again

it was Sunday afternoon. I was talking to a friend but really just thinking about what am I going to do this week while unemployed and have nothing left to accomplish since my portfolio is done. I couldn't think of anything. Then I started to think about a new philosphy I recently heard thanks to my brother: Ask better questions.

You see in life we ask a lot of questions: what am supposed to be? what am I supposed to do next? how do I get that weasel out of my wall? But those questions always have the same answer (for the weasel you just call an exterminator). So ask a better question tommorrow and stick with the answer.

Back to Sunday. My better question is how am I going to figure out what motivates me? Because that's my main problem is lack of motivation. The answer to that question is doing things that I like. This envitably went to what do I like? Easy: music, travel, design, etc. So at about 3 pm on Sunday I told myself, I love to travel right? Mainly because I like to see new things. So why not do it. Right now. Carpe Deim. So with the help from my friend on the phone (thanks friend) and a friend in North Carolina who's about 6 hrs (thanks buddy), I packed a couple bags hopped in my car and bolted.

I'm in NC now. Chillin. No real strong plans just calling them how I see it. I've only been here for a day and I've seen more country then I've ever seen in my life. This is a good thing. Don't care for it but still a good thing.

right of passage

i've been thinking.

You know how every boy challenges his father at some point in their teens? When I become a father, I'm gonna challenge my son on his 13th birthday. I'm gonna take him to the woods, hand him a knife while I'm holding a rifle, and tell him this is the time when we find out how much of a man you want to be. Then start counting to ten.

I figure this will be a lasting memory when he decides to go against my wishes years later. And if he still decides to challenge me, we going back to the woods. This time he'll wake up to me counting to ten, along with a gun cock.

oh what a feeling.... to be young

last night i was socially raped by some women.

In an effort to stay young and keep my mind off the boredom of being unemployed, I checked out this new club that opened in the south side ATL. Its a decent enough club but nobody was really enjoying themselves (aka the girls weren't shaking their booties hard enough). So I'm making my selections of who I'm willing to get rejected by and stumble upon a group of older chicks. I'm dancing with one but she ain't bumping and grinding. She calling her other friends to come sandwich me. That's cool. Hey at one point I was surrounded by four good looking girls. That made me smile.

Then they turned on me. (cue in horror movie sound) So they start rubbing my hair and I'm thinking, whoa violation! I know its silky smooth but you crossing a line here. Then they start grabbing and then spanking! I started having flashbacks of being whooped in my younger years. And nobody was helping me. Usually when a dude is surrounded by more than one woman other dudes come to help out (its called counter-action). But no. I was being mauled by these women. I was being socially raped.

Lesson learned:
If you start off with rum don't switch to henny.

some people need this right now

Drake - So Far Gone

Classic.

I haven't bumped an album on repeat for so long now. This dude is laying down tight flows over dope beats. "Successful" is number one on repeat. It speaks so much for people that just want to make it in a dark tone. The bonus track is just cherry. In these days that question comes up all the time with the opposite sex. Dopest line is from "Say Whats Real": "Cuz I just see my ex-girl standing with my next girl standing with the girl that I'm fucking right now"

Download approval:
http://www.getrightmusic.com/2009/02/13/drake-so-far-gone/

xbox gamertag

"SURVIVE TO KILL"

shooting the sheeit.

i've been going to the courts when I get really bored and need to get out the house. Basically I shoot free throws and then from the top of the key. I think I'm getting better. I've focused my muscles during a shot and worked on my follow thru. My shot is getting nice. I feel like I'm getting ready for some tournament or something but not really. I've discovered I need to strengthen my lower back. It hurts like a mug after 20 shots.

another realization is that I've got a huge belly. Too many beers man. Now I gotta look at my big belly ass in the mirror every day. I wish I was just prego and it would go away in 9 months. No Homo! (if anyone knows how to lose a beer belly, let me know)

Lastly, Jimmy Fallon show, sucks! Sorry Roots Crew. You got put on a sinking ship. Dude is just not funny. The writers my just be horrible but his delivery is weak as well. I miss Conan. Hey! Where is Conan? When is he taking over?

great moments in history

can't help but think these days. I'm unemployed.

Is your life a collection of great moments or great moments in a collection of bad ones? The question is not that profound. Either way you know that all people have bad moments and great moments. But if you focus only on the great moments does being in a bad moment seem frivolous and unimportant? Life is just a bumpy road. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. Enjoy it all.

cabin fever

i've been trapped in my own home. Being at home for days upon days is something I never thought I would hate. I didn't go out everyday when I did have a job but just being out of the house was something I didn't realize was so important to my sanity. Even the simple act of buying fast food is something I miss. I don't hate cooking, I just like the ease of pre-cooked food.

I think I've never been so focused on my design before. This is the positive of my cooped up days. The shock of being unemployed is still wearing off but I'm definitely focused.

thanks for your patience

i love not being in customer service anymore. I don't have to kill 'em with kindness. I can just kill it.

If I design, or give advice to anyone in the future and I see that they don't appreciate it, I'm going to end the agreement or conversation immediately. I'm not wasting time anymore (unless it comes with a beer and a good movie). The only way I'll continue to listen to nonsense is if money has been fronted to me to do a job. No dollo no mojo.

I hate the salesmen type. They have nothing but their words. Even what they offer isn't theirs, but they feel that they can barter with it. Get the f*ck outta here with that. I've just learned a valuable lesson: I have a price.

Joy! (geeked like a little school girl)

And its all about the principle. There's princibalities in this.

first date feelings

when Adam and Eve shared that apple together, I think that was their first date. I know that whole event has a negative feeling because it took them from paradise and separated the human race from God but think about it at love's stand point. When Adam took the bite it was like he was saying, "Girl, I'm with you to the end. Lets ride or die this bitch" (ebonically interpreted). And how could he resist? God made the most beautiful being on earth for him and he's supposed to say no to her? I don't think so. God set Adam up for a purpose. The Devil just used it as an advantage.

Side bar: why do we call it The Devil and not just Devil? We call God, God without "The". Think about it.

I just think that maybe we should celebrate that moment more often. What if at a wedding the couple takes a bite out of a apple at the same time to signify that we are taking a risk together in this life? And its not like the apple is the bad symbol. Its the fruit of knowledge from the tree of life (I think that's how it goes).

Message to future wife: we eating an apple after our vows. I'm starting a new trend.

gsmooth Radio presents First Date Feelings
Podcast coming soon.

music makes me high

I've created some podcasts. Having trouble making them mp3s but for now if you have itunes I believe you can listen to these.

gsmoothRadio.m4a
http://www.divshare.com/download/6399723-bb5

MidnightClouds.m4a
http://www.divshare.com/download/6399724-b9c

Last Words

See you at the top.

And that's where I plan to be.

its time for change

this year will be about change (Obama got niggas feeling it). The biggest change I hope to achieve is accepting who I am. I think the reason why I'm ever nervous or doubtful is that I imagine myself as someone else or I compare myself too much. I know who I am and what I like and don't like; its time I accept it and love it. Sure I'm a solo cat. But put me in any room and I can charm the hell out of it. I also wear glasses so I look less cool and too smart for most people (that's right, I am). My confidence is more arrogant than proud. My feeling is I'm the right guy at the right time. A great addition to any party. I'll add insight, intelligence, and enlightenment. I'm the guy that covers the details.

lost without you (c)Robin Thicke

it only took about an hour but I'm officially bored again
I gotta focus.
Not just on the amazing evenings of the past but the upcoming days of the future
the endless search of love is not in the discovery,
(Because no one ever unveils its true smile)
But in the endless search where love continues to remain.

all G, all the time

I've decided to wear glasses all the time. No more contacts. No more trying to fit the social norm. Next year I'm going to get a second pair of fashionable glasses and just start collecting. I'm going to the club in glasses, dates with glasses, accepting all awards with glasses.

I remember the first time I got glasses in seventh grade. I wasn't ashamed of them at first. I thought it made me look sophisticated and older. So when I walked into my homeroom with my fresh pair on and got laughed at by my friends I was more than surprised and embarrassed. But I had to wear them; I couldn't see. After a while it just became who I was. I loved wearing them with a suit on Sunday. I felt classy.

Now I'm older and I don't care what anybody thinks I look like. I know I look like a G. So that's who I'll be: all G, all the time.

we in a recession B!tch

i wondered how this recession business was going to effect me personally. I figured it wouldn't bother me that bad. I'm black. I know how to live on $6 per week. This will be easy. The biggest thing I've noticed is the price on products have gone up but gas is going down so it's evening out. What really hurts is the liquor tax. Makes me not want to drink anymore. That sounds like a good thing right.

i just hope that the plans I have for next year can get accomplished. My biggest fear is layoffs. My company plans to ditch 30,000 people. Not the right time to ask for a raise. Hopefully though by this time next year, my assets will be thick, my mercedes will be fly, and I will have realized my full potential in life.

A change goin' come (c)Sam Cooke

reflectionnnnn!!!!

aight so I stopped drinking for the month of december. Its like lent for me. Really though, i'm just want new years to be extra special drunk. Third dimension drunk. The problem is, being sober for a month is tough. Man I didn't realize how much I was relying on being drunk after work in order to feel free for just a moment through out me days. The hard part is the taste. Man can I taste a beer right now. But I've been holding strong. I feel an addiction is just a learned behavior. Its like learning how to drive or something. It becomes so innate, like you don't have to think about it. Think if you didn't drive anywhere for a month and just walked or biked. You'd miss the laziness. And really that is what drinking is all about for me, laziness. Whenever I come home and drink I feel good for 20 minutes and then fall asleep. That's the ultimate feeling of laziness. Damn codependency.

very simple

you set a goal and want nothing else. your ultimate goal maybe greater and much more significant but achievement of the primary goal is of the utmost importance.

I got 4. I'm feeling good.