what's wrong?

shit you tell me.

You mean I'll never get to see you again.

with the way its going I'm guessing so.

Well what am I supposed to say to that?

i don't know.

Where do we go from here?

are separate ways hopefully.

That's it, separate ways? You're so full of it.

am I?

Shut up. If I never see you again then that's fine. Get the fuck out.

you don't need to be harsh.

You stole my heart.

i'll have it back to you by Friday.

Whatever. Are we done here?

you see me leaving don't you?

That's right, get the fuck out and never come back again. Ignorant fuck.

you just can't get enough of this can you?

Enough of what?

the drama.

Oh I'm all about the drama! You want to see drama?! Drama this bitch!

*shotgun BLAWH!*****

today I hate my job

yesterday not so much, but today, I hate it. There is no sense of trust in that place. You wanna fire me don't setup some elaborate scheme to get me out. Just let me go with two weeks pay. I wish. I can't believe I'm still working there.

On another note. I think the end of the world is coming. No here me out. The other day, the sky was red. Sure the sun was coming up and there was a deep fog that illuminated the red flares but there's more. You know that feeling that things are closing in on you. Things keep happening closer and closer to you: from people on the news to people you know, to people that are your family. Its strange man. I need to brush up on my religion.

Other idea. Laziness pursues me. You get all excited about something. You have brilliant ideas then you get into it and laziness sits by you as you work on your computer in the afternoon. He knows you have all day to work so he asks, "So is this what you are going to do all day?"

Yourself: yeh, I got to finish this.
Lazy: Hmph. Just seems like there could be better things to do.

Yourself: Well it has to be done. If I don't do it now, I'll be tired tomorrow.
Lazy: How do you know that? Its not due tomorrow. So you have time.

Yourself: I don't think you're even listening to me.
Lazy: You're not listening to yourself. C'mon, whats on the tube?

Yourself: Nothing. You know that.
Lazy: Youtube?

Yourself: No.
Lazy: This couch is real nice to take a nap. You look like you need a nap. Lets take a nap and do this stuff later.

Yourself: Man, just leave me be.... This couch is comfortable.
Lazy: Yehhhh, you look a little cold too. Put that blanket over you.

Yourself: Its a little chilly in here. I guess I could lay down and do my work. Maybe I'll just....Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzz

3 hours later

Yourself: Damn it!
Hunger: I could go for some pizza right now.

Black People Should Kill Ni$$as

Let's forget about a blackout. Lets forget about a march on Washington. Lets forget about picket signs and arguing and complaining. Lets educate. How about we get together and talk about how we spend our money. How we can change the economy to benefit us. How we can get millions of people out of credit debt. Lets do for self. The Civil Rights is over. The war is done. Lets build.

I'm not wearing black. I'm going to spend my money if I have to. I'm not walking to anywhere just to complain about shit. You know what I'm going to do. Teach my kids how to balance a check book, how to save money, how to make decisions, and how to look for resources. That's my fight. Sorry if it isn't glorious. I'm just part of a quiet storm.

And keep that dumb ni$$a T.I. in jail. I don't care. His ass knew the rules. Its all a scheme for more album sales. Oh it just so happens that his single says, "I still keep that thang." And then he goes to jail for having guns. He's just trying to get his street cred back. Sorry T.I. no sympathy here. You're bougy son. Ya bougy.

Welcome home Genarlow Wilson.

I'm a Rapper

We got players that will do for self, to do for wealth
Some things we got to do in stealth
Like that rak co-Kane flow, But not cocaine though
That Big Daddy, 18th letter of the soul
Pay respects to the legends even if they still breathing
So thanks for the lessons while you wait for new seasons

sleepless

you ever just can't sleep. Toss and turn all you want. You think you know your body, "I love to sleep on my stomach," but that doesn't work. I'll listen to some music only leads you to listening to the whole 90 minutes of the sleep button. Damn another hour awake. You go downstairs, get some tea, warm your belly, back into bed, but nothing. You yawn naturally. You think, "see I want to go to sleep. Go to sleep you stupid body." But nothing. You just sit up and think about things: old things, new things, things that haven't happened, things you expected, things that surprised you, things you wonder if they are true. You think about you long day and how a few hours ago you were passed out on the couch, made your move to bed and now you're stuck being up.

What the hell? I got a long tomorrow. Not a nervous day at all, but I have to start early so staying up all night is not a good look. Its all in my mind. I wonder if stupid people have this problem. I guess I can expect this every once in awhile. Just not tonight though. Not tonight.

what about grace and mercy?

when there is nothing left to say, smack a muthaf_ker in the face. That should be a quote in some movie or something. And then later, when the weaker character is asked a question that he has no answer to, he smacks his friend in the face. It'd be funny. Sometimes though I feel like smack people in the face. Just for asking stupid questions. When I say no, I say no. No one else is going to help, or I at least I'm not going to find anybody else for you. That becomes your job.

I think we as humans need a dose of violence every once in awhile, male and female. That's why we watch these violent movies and play these violent games because this docile life we claim to want is all boring and actually more tense. Think about it. When faced with adversity with someone and you choose not to physically fight them, your stress level sky rockets to a point where you feel like you want to kill someone. Now if you were "allowed" to fight in the first place, your stress would not be as elevated.

It'd be funny if right before a fight announcers (nearby witnesses) would call the fight like the game streetfigher. And after the fight is over everything would go back to normal. Nobody would die but things would get solved quicker.



This is a beautiful interpretation.

update

new money, get money, spend money, its all about the money. I've noticed that a lot of songs out right now in hip hop is all about money. True this is not some revelation, but everybody at once is talking about money. I think that is the main thing about these artist now, follow a trend. A couple years ago it was about booty shaking video girls, now its money. Is hip hop just a form of mimicry that we should appreciate. Not many artists, even conscious rapper, come up with new ideas in rap. Its just the same ol' "let me tell you about my hood and how much money I make."

Anywho, enough about rap. I'm repainting my house. My half bath is gonna be crazy. The color is purple and I got hand towels to match. But the way I'm painting it is amazing. Six inch stripes on three walls that leads to a full wall with a mural. You got it. Fresh.

a day off

Hard days work calls for a day off. Then your day off becomes a hard days work and you are left in a catch 22. Damn if I don't, damn if I can't get a moment of peace. But it'll soon come. Another year is close to an end for me and a day of celebration will commence (this time its more of a weekend). How I should celebrate is the main question? I might be getting too old to go all out drunk at the club, plus there is no definite way home. I have a good idea of what I will be doing and I'm sure the planned activities will be fun but I can't wait to experience the unplanned events.

Speaking of plans. Is it bad to plan ahead? To me if I don't plan then comes bad last minute decisions that lead to regret. Its especially worst with money. But then they say don't count your chickens before they crap on your car (or something like that).

relax yourself

These guys were and are the smoothest sound in hip hop. But they sound like early outkast. I think that's one of the reasons maybe they didn't make it. People always say you biting someone's style but that's pretty much always the case. Its just how much can you hide the fact. Either way, I love these dudes.

old man in the river

Every time I see my parents I think, "Damn I look just like pops." Its true. Day by day I grow into the man that I learned to respect but never liked. The man was hard on us but I've come to find out that he made a lot of important decisions for us, so much respect. But now I'm at an age where I gotta make decisions. I wonder if its going to be the same decisions he had to make and what I should be learning from him. I know now that he doesn't have all the answers. I gotta outsource for the proper knowledge.

If growing up was hard, being grown is even harder.

family sitcoms step your game up

I've figured out how to do a funny family sitcom. You either need a funny stand up comedian who can do more jokes than just about how funny their child was or you need a family in a funny situation. Everybody Loves Raymond is good cuz the parents are crazy and they live next door, Weeds is funny because the mother sells weed to get by in the surburbs, Married W/ Children: c'mon Al was a women's shoe salesman.

I'm speaking of this because House of Payne and The Bill Engvall Show (sp) are not funny. They lack the aforementioned techinques. House of Payne sucks because having your mom being a crackhead and you have to live with your grandparents isn't funny. Its sad and we all hope we never have to face that in life. None of those kids (if they were real kids) will look back in there lives when they grow old and think that was funny how mom was on crack. The Bill Engvall Show is just a normal family doing quorky things. Bill is not a real comedian, just a good story teller. The stories are funny on stand up sure but not in a sitcom.

Basically I'm tired of trying to give these shows a chance and just hope people can be more creative when thinking of a new family sitcom. I mean in real funny family sitcoms you can always go back to the foundation of the show and laugh. Every episode something funny would be happening on top of something already funny. Look at King of Queens: They are a couple living with a crazy father in the basement and Doug is a true comedian in his stand up. So anything that happens can always fall back on the interaction of the crazy Arthur and the Heffernans.

I love great comedy and I should not be denied.

all is forgiven

the pill

They don't sing lullabies about nights like this
The tunes play over and over in your head
As lights blind your direction to clarity
Moments pass as if your sleep is stealing your life
Regrets, afterthoughts, corrections will follow you in your shadow
And as the night draws near to an end
You appreciate those at your side
I hope they understand
I made a mistake.

late night binge

i noticed that late at night when people want to eat all kinds of foods, they look at me with such disdain because I don't want to eat. Sure I'll take a couple of bites of this or that but dive into a full meal, nope not for me. Then comes the question, well are you on a diet? No. I just don't eat late at night. I never have.

Growing up I ate at lunch and at dinner time. Sometimes I might eat at breakfast but not always. If I got hungry late at night, I'll have some tea to warm my stomach and go to bed. The truth is we never had late night snacks. Well maybe crackers or something but thats about it.

The real reason though of why I don't eat at night is because a lesson learned freshman year of college (I think that's when I learned all my lessons).

The Late Night Cafeteria.
It sounded good, especially since I got in late after work and I wasn't physically paying with money because it was on a card that was given to me. I could get chicken wings, fries, pizzas, ice cream, and my favorite: smoothies. It was also a social gathering: you could study with friends, joke around, and meet new people.

But something strange would happen over night. While I slept, the evil of greasy foods would turn in my tummy. There was a war going on and it left me defeated every morning. Because every morning after a late night binge was a trip to the stalls for an explosion of gases and particles that I didn't know came out that end of my anatomy. So I learned quickly, you don't put greasy, delicious foods in your tummy before you go to bed.

Now when I'm out and I see everybody stuffing there face with everything they ordered, I thank God that I won't have to be in their home while the eruption of internal gases leaks under the crevices of the bathroom door. Its just another lesson learned when you're cooking with grease. (may the irony consume you all)

mind sex - Dead Prez

nuff said.

thinking 4000 words a minute

I can't tell you what I'm thinking right now cause right now its all relative. Decisions, decisions, decisions, that's the rest of my life. Full of decisions. What next, what now, who, what so um, I think I should, maybe if I duh, I like pig feet. Next up, time to go to work. Oh work?! Fourteen in the hole last night. "No one is to leave the bank until I get there." Interesting to see where things go from now and they won't even take me anywhere else. I guess I gotta go for the gusto. Hey Gus, my final thought of the day is kill yourself. That's a crazy mess. The future is in your hand and I got the machete, your vote doesn't count. We're all savages, you didn't know that? We just choose to live in a safer environment. The beautiful design/experiment/accident/confused state of mind. Give me money and it'll all be easier. What's up with product placement. You got a 1:30 min video and spend 5 secs on a camera. I know how to take a picture. A waste of my time. Maybe this blog, maybe my words, maybe television, maybe talking to you. Who knows. Time is like that. A beeatch!

i'm too old for this

The older you get is it harder to make friends for as a male?

I know I'm not that old yet but still can't see myself making a lot more male friends. If I'm looking to make a new friend it is usually gonna be a female and for different reasons than making a male friend. I just can't see myself approaching another dude like hey man lets go grab a beer.

AsayWhatMan?! I'd get knocked out.

I think one of the reasons is that men just don't talk that much. I mean like regular talk, past the how's the weather but not as far as how are you feeling. I guess I'm just not in the right places to make a new male friend. If I had to do a job or something with a dude I could see us chillin afterwards or something but other than that, I'm not going out to meet new males. And in Atlanta that's very dangerous. I might end up as some guys play toy.

Poems by G

Yeh, so, I think I'm a poet. I'm rummaging through my old things on a lazy Sunday and I realize I wrote a lot of poems and rhymes between high school to sophomore year in college. So I share some with you.

I remember why I first started to write poetry, to get girls of course! It's how I got my first 3 girlfriends I believe. It wasn't my first poem though. The first one I ever wrote was in 3rd grade. It was an assignment. I wrote about batman. It was good but I can't remember it. It had to do with the man of the night.

I wrote a lot poems about love, fantasies, girls I was mad at because they didn't show me no love then post it online for everybody to see and then get calls from people like how could you do this. Whoa, flashback.

Poems are still a good creative release. Enjoy, snap your fingers, and drink some coffee.

Tainted

Brown eyes flooded with the blood of despair
Can not recognize the color of her heart
When tears fall they stain the glass mirrors
And burn holes through the sheets that hide her from the world
As she sleeps, songs of the sea calms her soul
Until she realizes she's alone and violent rage drowns her emotions
External bliss as she smiles, only for a moment
Melts the thin ice surrounding her heart
Forging crystal figurines through fire
Locked in titanium steel vaults with no lock and key
Growing by the day but still a girl inside cries
While it lies on broken glass, one inch from its death
Wearing a crown of hope for the prince to arrive
But the dragon is her protection
As she speaks, her eyes scream for help
Her touch grabs my soul and demands me never to let go
She disappears as darkness comes upon my eyes
The only thing left is the cold mist from her breath
Shaping into her first facial expression of when I said,
I love you

Please Post A Reply

Can I get some replies
Oh why oh why must a poem die
When not recognized
By wise guys with time
To develop their inner mind
By reading these lines
With one breath that can define
The great track of time
Revealed to the blind
Beloved by few that can claim as mine
Become a legend when betrayed through written crime
Oh why, oh why
Must my poem die
You speak a word of truth or please me with lies
Read words critically and try to criticize
So I can live my ways free and circumcised
Reword the words I say so I to realize
What emotions inside are truly my demise
I shall close my eyes
And when I open up wide
I want to see cries of "whoa" and "that's tight"
Oh try, oh try
Don't let this poem die
You've been given a piece of me you must water with your replies
Listen to my demand as I sigh
From uppin my own poem from the bottom of the pile