move forward

one of the famous quotes my father used to say after watching me play a soccer game is, "you haff to move forward!" It never made any sense to me because I played defense. But nowadays I find myself using that as the answer as to why I need to take risks. I need to move forward.

I'm back in Atlanta. Back from my "extended vacation". What I really feel is that it wasn't a vacation at all but an answer to my prayers. I was looking for something or someone to motivate me and I did. I found someone to give me purpose and a new place to keep me interested. The risk worked out and I'm happy. So why am I still scared?

Is it wrong to find happiness? That's what we are all looking for right? Either someone to be happy with or things to keep us happy. I've found one if not possibly two of those things. So why do I still fear this risk won't work out and I will fail? I keep thinking that I should abandon the idea of starting a business and just rely on a regular job. Give up my happiness in an uncharted land and stick with my roots.

But, (and I quote) "Everything that I have done up till now has been unsuccessful. Its time to try something else" (okay that was a paraphrase from Pamela Slim Escape From Cubicle Nation). I need to put my fears aside, rely on God, and the warm bubbly feeling inside (I hope is not just gas). And I need to follow the line of my father, which will probably be a title of a book one day, I need to move forward.

Plus if I wasn't scared I probably wasn't doing anything right in the first place. The funny thing is that my father has been asking me to come back home. Sorry pops. You raised a good boy who was taught to listen to his parents. I gotta keep going. I need to move forward.