Today is another one of those days you wake up and feel like nothing is on television, nothing is in the fridge to eat, nothing is worth doing before you go back to be a slave for the man. But since you are up for the day, you might as well breathe and get through it. Maybe someone will make you smile today, but for most of the day you will be day dreaming about a different place in time where you'll be happy and productive.
Crazy thing is, I gots things to do but to lift myself up to do it is a different story. Motivation. Inspiration. Dedication. Drive. The characteristics I'm lacking at this moment. Another one is confidence. I wish I learned these things somewhere in life. I wonder where I missed out on it. I played sports and I wasn't bad, I have good genes to be a athlete but what I lacked was confidence. Without that I didn't think my body could do the things I know I could do because every once in awhile I'd jump so high, run so fast, move so effortlessly.
Where do people learn certain characteristic. I mean I grew up in the same household as my brothers and yet we are all different. It must be in our social lives. I was quiet so I didn't hang out with people that could boost my confidence. But I could play both sides though. People generally like me after I get to know them. Still, I wonder when I lost my chance to be so confident. I guess its just not in me. I have to build my confidence everyday. Stand up to this person, talk to this girl, smile at a stranger. You know for years I would pass by cute girls and not make eye contact. It scared me half to death. I remember a time in the hallway of high school. Nobody there but a cute girl looking at me as she passed by. She smiled. I threw my head down and looked away. Such a shame. And what I've figured out is that there is nothing to be scared about. Everybody is the same. Everybody has self esteem issues. Everybody is scared. Everybody is as unsure as I am. So why do I find myself thinking differently.
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